Fractured Spotlights
by CatchingCraziness
Summary: What if James Potter was blinded in a Potions accident? Non-canon Seventh Year of the Marauders. James/Lily. NO SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_**DracoAngelOfLight**_** gave me the idea to write this, she also gave me a lot of help so this story is for her. I hope you like it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! This counts for every chapter.**

**Fractured Spotlights**

**Summary: **_**What if James Potter was blinded in a Potions accident? Non-canon Seventh Year of the Marauders. James/Lily. NO SLASH.**_

**Chapter 1**

James's POV

"How are you feeling this morning?" Sirius asked, flinging an arm around Remus's shoulders as we sat down in the Great Hall for breakfast. It had been a full moon the night before and Remus was still looking pale and sickly, but Madame Pomfrey had agreed to let him go to classes.

"I've been worse," Remus murmured, looking as if he was about to fall asleep sitting up. Across from him, Peter was asleep with his head on his plate; he was always the worst off if we spent the whole night awake.

"Well, we've got a nice relaxing morning to break you back in gently," I told him, waving my time table around and pointing to the Friday column. "Herbology, Transfiguration and then a free until lunch."

"What about after lunch?" Remus questioned sleepily, reaching for anything with sugar in it in an attempt to wake himself up.

"I've got another free, Divination and then Potions," I read off, raising my eyes to look at Remus and Sirius. "This means that Wormtail has the same as me, Padfoot has Muggle Studies instead of Divination and you have Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. No free I'm afraid."

Remus groaned and staggered out of his seat, dragging Sirius with him. "Let's go see the plants then."

I laughed and tapped Peter on the back of the head to wake him up. Swearing, Peter jerked awake and lifted his head to glare at me, causing Sirius, Remus and me to laugh even harder when we saw his face.

"Quick tip, Wormtail," I snickered. "Don't put food on your plate if you're going to use it as a pillow."

Peter scowled at us and began trying to scrub beans off of his face with a napkin. Eventually, Remus took pity on him and cast a cleaning charm. We grabbed a couple of pieces of toast to eat as we walked to the greenhouses and then left the Great Hall.

Herbology and Transfiguration passed quickly much to our relief. The teachers took pity on Remus and didn't say anything if he got a question wrong since they knew that he was often a bit dazed after a full moon.

We went back to Gryffindor Tower for our hour of free time before lunch, Remus went straight to the dorm to catch up on sleep and Peter followed him up. Sirius and I sat down on the chairs by the fireplace and began a game of exploding snap.

"Potter!" An angry voice shouted from behind me. Startled, I let go of my cards, causing them to fly forwards, most of them landing in the fire. Most of the cards made little explosions but the ones that landed in the fire resulted in the flames bursting out of the fireplace and nearly burning the chairs.

"Cool!" Sirius exclaimed once we'd put the small fires out. "We've got to remember that for a prank!"

"Definitely ," I agreed, turning to face whoever had yelled at me. Lily Evans stood behind me, her hands on her hips and a glare in her eyes as she looked at me. She gave the impression that she was half a second away from cursing me. "I haven't done anything."

Sirius chuckled at my automatic denial and then winked at Lily. "Yet."

"Yet," I agreed, nodding my head and giving Lily my best innocent smile while running a hand through my already messy hair.

"I know you haven't done anything, Potter. That's the problem!" She ranted, not giving me the chance to speak. "You're Head Boy, that means you have to do rounds, just like a Prefect does, and yet the one night you have to actually do some work, you skive off!"

"When did I skive off?" I demanded, trying to think back to the Prefect meeting I'd attended. Everyone had agreed that I was to do my rounds with Remus so that he could remind me, and I knew he wouldn't have skived.

"Last night!" Lily exploded. "You were meant to be there last night!"

"But I patrol with Remus!" I protested. "You know he couldn't do it last night."

"I know he couldn't," Lily growled. "But what was stopping you?"

It was on the tip of my tongue to say that I had been too busy making sure Remus was safe to worry about Prefect duty, but I kept my mouth shut and just stared at Lily instead. After a second of silence, Lily huffed and spun around, storming out of the tower with her red hair billowing behind her like a Gryffindor banner.

"She's in a bad mood," Sirius commented idly, fishing a firework out of his pocket. "Should we make it worse?"

"Do we have time to plan a prank before class?" I grinned mischievously, knowing the answer.

"We always have time to plan a prank," Sirius replied haughtily. "And if we don't then we'll have to skip class."

"Why are we skipping class?" Peter asked, walking up to us with Remus behind him. "Not that I'm complaining, but it would be nice to know why."

"We have a prank to plan," Sirius explained. "Preferably before lunch."

"That gives us less than half an hour," Remus pointed out, glancing at his watch. "Is this going to be a 'whatever-we-have-in-our-pockets' prank?"

"I have fireworks and exploding snap cards," Sirius told us, emptying his pockets. Remus snorted and began digging around inside his robes to see what would be useful in a prank.

"Chewing gum, Snitch and two-way mirror," I announced, adding my junk to the pile. "But the mirror's out because Sirius doesn't have his."

Whenever we did a 'whatever-we-have-in-our-pockets' prank we weren't allowed to use anything but what we had in our pockets, it was a great way to think outside of the box and a way of practising quick planning.

"Erm, a broken quill and some string," Remus dumped it onto the pile and shrugged. "Nothing much I'm afraid."

"Same here," Peter sighed. "A screaming Yo Yo and some more chewing gum."

"This is going to take a lot of imagination," I muttered, rooting around the pile and picking up random objects.

"We'll think of something," Sirius said confidently, shuffling the pack of cards carefully while he thought. I knew immediately when he'd got an idea because he stopped shuffling and began grinning as if he'd gone insane. "I have a plan."

We listened attentively as he described his plan, editing the details and adding our own bits as he spoke. Remus jotted everything down on a piece of scrap paper that had been left on a nearby table and then we got our wands out and began casting charms onto the objects.

The first spell we used was _Gemino_ to multiply the amount of chewing gum and string we had. It was tempting to do the same with the fireworks, but we knew from past experience that it wouldn't work out well. We used simple sticking charms to glue the chewing gum onto the exploding snap cards and then attached each individual card to a different part of a firework with the string so that they hung down like a bizarre mobile.

"Do you think this will work?" Peter questioned nervously as we stuffed everything back into our pockets and began making our way to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Not a clue," I said cheerfully. "But the great thing about a prank is that it doesn't matter if it goes wrong."

"What wise logic," Remus remarked dryly, sitting down at the Gryffindor table. "When are we going to set them off?"

"Set what off?" Lily demanded suspiciously, appearing suddenly next to Remus and sitting down. "You'd better not be planning anything."

"We're not," Sirius reassured her before continuing with a smirk. "We finished the planning ages ago." He offered her a cheeky grin before nudging my arm and reaching into his pocket. "Now!"

As one, we each flung a firework into the air, shooting a quick _Incendio_ after it. The four fireworks exploded at the same time, causing the fake sky of the Great Hall to be lit with different colours. Almost immediately after, the exploding snap cards exploded as well, releasing the chewing gum. The chewing gum inflated into bubbles while in the air and then popped, covering anyone unfortunate enough to be underneath them in a sticky pink goo.

"Not too bad to say we only had half an hour to plan," I commented, regarding the mess that the prank had caused and examining some of the glue that had landed on my plate.

"I hope it only takes you that long to clean it up then," McGonagall said sternly as she walked over to us. "I do believe you have a free now. Messrs Potter, Black and Pettigrew, you can use it to clean the hall."

"I always knew you liked Remus better," Sirius sighed dramatically, putting on his best heart broken face.

Remus snorted and picked up his bag, using a cleaning charm to get rid of the exploded gum. "There's a good reason for that, Padfoot."

"You wound me, Moony," Sirius put a hand over his heart and pretended to stagger, leaning against me for support.

McGonagall gave us another stern look, reminding us to get on with our cleaning. Remus waved as he left the hall, catching up with Lily so that they could walk together. For some reason, Lily always forgave Remus for the pranks that were pulled; she seemed to believe he was always innocent when truthfully it was his idea a lot of the time.

"That wasn't the best way to spend a free period," Sirius remarked as we left the Great Hall, picking pink goo out from underneath his nails. "But the prank was a definite success."

"We didn't get a chance to eat though," Peter said mournfully.

"Not to worry, Wormtail," I laughed. "We can call in at the kitchens before we go to Divination."

"We'll be late," Peter warned, sounding conflicted.

"So?" Sirius snickered. "If your Divination teacher has the 'Inner-Eye' she should be expecting you to be late."

"Exactly," I cheered, waving to Sirius as he left to go to Muggle studies. "We wouldn't want to disappoint the teacher now would we?"

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will try to update every week but I don't know which day yet. Please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I will be switching POV every chapter so please remember to read whose POV it is. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

Severus's POV

As usual, I was the first person to enter the Potions classroom. Professor Slughorn nodded to me as I entered but continued what he was doing; while I was the top student in Potions, I'd never been important enough to be part of the so-called 'Slug Club' and therefore Slughorn never paid much attention to me outside of class.

Slowly, other student began to trickle through into the classroom. Lily took a seat next to me at our desk; Slughorn had paired us together at the beginning of the year because we were the best in Potions. Potter and Black, the only two from their dratted group who had managed to get into Advanced Potions, sat down at their normal desk near the back of the room.

Rosier and Wilkes glared at me as they went to their desk; they were part of the group that I normally hung around with, but they'd turned on me when I'd admitted that I didn't want to join the Dark Lord anymore.

For a long time joining the Dark Lord had sounded great; I could have all the power I wanted and be respected while getting revenge on my enemies, but every time I thought about actually joining the ranks of Death Eaters I imagined Lily's disappointed face and the fact that my so-called 'friends' would love to curse and kill her. The very thought of it made me feel sick and I'd finally told them that I wasn't interested in joining.

Since then, I'd become a sort of outcast to the Slytherin house, no one outside of Slytherin would notice it since we were to present a united front at all times, but away from seeing eyes I was ignored or bullied. I'd started spending most of my time in the library where I knew no one could get me. The only bright side was that Potter and his gang seemed to have stopped pranking me in an attempt to impress Lily.

"Right class," Slughorn stood up and clapped his hands together happily. "Today we will be brewing the Bundimun Secretion. Can anyone tell me more about this potion? Miss Evans?"

"The Bundimun Secretion is also called the Bundimun Ooze," Lily recited. "It's a magical substance, produced by the Bundimun, known to be extremely acidic and can rot a building's structure. When diluted, the secretions of the Bundimun are known to be used in some magical cleaning products."

"Well done, Miss Evans, ten points to Gryffindor," Slughorn congratulated. "We will be using milder versions of the ingredients since we don't want the potion to eat through your cauldrons but even so I want you all to be very careful."

He waved his wand toward the board and the instructions appeared there along with the page number needed for the potion. Lily went to get the ingredients from the store cupboard while I lit the fire underneath the cauldron and began reading through the notes in my textbook.

We worked in silence as usual, only talking to discuss what we needed to add next or what we were doing. Eventually, the potion changed to the colour it was meant to be a few stages before completion. A few more stirs and a couple of Baneberries and the potion would be finished perfectly.

Time seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time after that. I couldn't understand what was happening; I looked down at our potion to see that it was a dark orange colour instead of the light green it should have been. It was bubbling dangerously and rising inside the cauldron, I knew instinctively that it was going to explode but I couldn't move my body fast enough.

Everything happened at once then, the potion leapt out of the cauldron straight towards Lily and I and all I could think of was that the potion could rot a buildings structure when it was full strength, so what would it do to skin?

All of a sudden, Potter was there, pushing Lily out of the way while shouting at people to get out down. He grabbed the back of my robes and pulled me away from the acidic liquid just as the potion exploded outwards. I felt the potion hit my arms and cried out as it began to eat its way through my skin, but my voice was drowned out by terrible screams of pain.

I spun around and saw that Potter had collapsed on the floor, the potion had hit him across the face and his arms were burnt from where he'd raised them to protect himself. Lily was screaming as well, both from pain and panic as she stared at Potter; her arms and hands were raw but she didn't seem to notice.

Black was swearing as he lifted Potter off the floor and got him further away from the spilt potion, his hands were getting covered in the liquid but he showed no signs of pain as he dragged his friend out of harm's way. Slughorn blustered about trying to find out who was hurt before vanishing the potion and clearing a path through the students to get to us.

"Mr Black, take Mr Potter to the Hospital Wing immediately," Slughorn ordered. Black cast a few spells at his unconscious friend and then left the room with Potter floating along behind him. "Mr Snape, calm Miss Evans down and then go to the Hospital Wing as well."

Lily must have heard him speak since she had stopped screaming and was staring at me with wide eyes. I didn't have to say anything to her; she just followed me out of the room. When we got to the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey was working on Potter with Black stood by the bed. It was clear that she'd gone straight to Potter without checking Black because his hands were still red and beginning to bleed.

Finally, Madame Pomfrey moved away from Potter and got us all onto separate beds. She started with Lily since she looked to still be in shock and then moved onto me. Lily had been given a calming potion but refused a Dreamless Sleep one and then Madame Pomfrey had bandaged her arms and hands up after putting some sort of salve onto the wounds and cleaning away the potion. She did the same with me and I too refused the sleep potion before she moved onto Black.

By the time Black's hands were bandaged up, Pettigrew and Lupin burst into the Hospital Wing and went straight over to where Black was stood next to Potter's bed. Madame Pomfrey scolded them for making so much noise but didn't throw them out. The noise they'd created caused Potter to stir though and a few seconds later he woke up.

My bed had been placed nearby so I could see and hear what was going on. Potter had bandages wrapped around his head, they covered his eyes and his arms were also heavily covered. Potter seemed distressed when he woke up until Madame Pomfrey told him what was going on.

"Why are my eyes covered?" He asked nervously, I saw Black wince at the question and narrowed my eyes. Pomfrey must have said something to him before I'd entered the Wing.

"The potion has burnt through your retinas, Mr Potter," Madame Pomfrey announced bluntly. I could see that she didn't want to be the one to tell him but she was also determined to get it over with. "I'm afraid that there's nothing we can do. I can make it so there will be no scarring but nothing else."

"What does that mean?" Potter demanded, moving his hand to touch the bandages around his head. "I don't understand."

"The retina is the part of the eye needed to see," Pomfrey explain slowly. "I'm sorry, Mr Potter, but the potion will continue to eat away at your retinas until you're blind."

"Blind!" Pettigrew squeaked, wringing his hands and staring at Potter.

"But I can still see!" Potter protested, his voice shaking. "I can see lights and shapes."

"I know, Mr Potter," Pomfrey said. "And that might last years, but in all likelihood your eyesight will be completely destroyed in a couple of days."

Potter fell silent while his friends hovered around his bed and exchanged worried glances with each other. Lily was still staring at Potter with wide eyes and I wondered what was going through her head. Pomfrey came back over to where I was sat and placed a Dreamless Sleep potion next to my bed, informing me that it contained a pain killer as well before moving away.

**A/N: This chapter was a nightmare to write. I hope it turned out okay.**

**The plan is to update every Thursday, if for some reason I can't update I'll try to warn you in advance. Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter was co-written by **_**DracoAngelOfLight**_**. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

James's POV

There was something in the potion that eradicated everything. It was actually worse to know that my sight would slowly disappear when there was nothing anyone could do about it. I could see faint outlines and flashes of light through the bandages around my eyes and I wished more than anything that I could rip the bandages away before I lost my sight completely.

I could still feel the potion, burning through everything it touched until I wanted to scream even though I knew it wasn't really there. The pain was agonizing, but I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to waste any moments of sight that I had left.

As I lay on the bed I could hear Lily sitting on a bed next to me, she wasn't speaking but I knew it was her. The pain had finally dimmed down a bit from whatever Madam Pomfrey put on my face but my whole body was still shaking a little. I could hear Sirius breathing over to the left of me with Remus and Peter.

"P-Padfoot sit down..." I commanded weakly, knowing he was pacing and that it meant he was angry. The movement was fraying at my already tense nerves and reminding me that while I could hear him moving, I'd never see it again.

How was I supposed to do anything? I felt a hopelessness engulf me and bit my lip to keep from crying. A blind wizard; what a joke. How could I cast spells when I couldn't even see what I was aiming for? I'd never be able to protect myself again.

I reached out my hand to the right in an attempt to figure out what was next to me but I felt nothing, I was just about to pull my hand away when a smaller hand reached back to rest their hand in mine. I could feel the bandages wrapped around the wrist with my finger and took a guess as to who it was. "E-Evans?"

"Potter," Lily replied, falling silent but not moving her hand. I wished I could see her face; was she disgusted that I was blind?

Blind...I hated that word, my life was over; I just kept thinking about what use was a blind wizard? I almost wished that I could regret pushing Lily out of the way, but I couldn't. The thought of Lily being hurt in anyway was bad enough, but if she'd been in my place and had been blinded...I would do it all again if I had to. I couldn't regret helping her in anyway. The thought of her being blind hurt me more than the fact that I would never see again.

The sound of footsteps echoed around the room as Madame Pomfrey stepped closer to my bed but I could hear somebody else moving around as well and turned my head towards the sound.

"Who is it?" I asked softly. My question was answered by Sirius before anyone got the chance to reply.

"Snivellus," Sirius's voice was dripping with venom as he spoke. "Haven't you done enough? What do you want?"

"I got hit with it too you know!" Snape snapped back, causing me to frown in thought.

"Who else got hit with it?" I asked aloud, hoping for an answer but not really expecting one. I was just about to repeat my question, since no one seemed to hear, when Lily's hand tightened on mine and she answered in a quiet voice that was normally reserved for someone's deathbed.

"Severus and I caught a little of it and Black got it on his hands when he tried to help you, but you got m-most of it," she broke off and suddenly the hand was ripped away; the only thing anchoring me to reality disappeared. I made an involuntary sound of distress as the world seemed to spin around me and I heard Sirius swear again.

"Leave Snivellus," he ordered, clearly thinking that it was Snape that was causing my distress. "You've done enough damage."

Someone took hold of my other hand; but this time it was clearly a male hand and it was at my left when I knew that Lily had been at my right. I tried to figure out who was holding my hand before deciding that I didn't care as long as whoever it was stayed with me.

"Calm down, James," Remus soothed, helping me to realize that the male hand in mine was Remus's. "Making yourself upset won't help."

I could feel the rough calluses on his hands and smell parchment and old books. I knew he was sitting as close as he could get to me without siting on the bed. He was always the most sensitive of us all.

In my mind all I kept thinking was that I didn't get there in time to help anyone; other people still got hurt. I hadn't protected anyone. Distantly, I heard Remus call for Madam Pomfrey but I couldn't focus; it felt like my lungs weren't getting enough air.

"I am not leaving," Snape argued, his voice breaking through my panic a little as I tried to tune into what he was saying. "It was an accident."

"Accident or not, James is the one that suffered for it!" Sirius shouted angrily. I knew that he was worried about me and that he was taking it out on Snape; Sirius could be very protective when one of us was injured.

Madam Pomfrey warned them that I needed rest and that she'd kick them out if they continued, causing me to hold onto Remus's hand tighter. I needed my friends with me; they were the only thing that was keeping me from going insane. My grip had to be hurting him, but Remus didn't protest, he just squeezed me hand and stayed by my side.

"Maybe here's not the best place to do this," Peter whispered urgently; I guessed he was speaking to Sirius since he was always the most hot-headed out of us but neither Snape nor Sirius seemed to hear him.

"Don't you think I know that Black?!" Snape yelled back at him. "Do you think that I intentionally brewed a potion to blind him?"

"I wouldn't put it pass you, Snape!" Sirius snarled. Everyone took a breath of shock; it was one thing to be angry but to accuse him of something like that was crossing the line.

"Padfoot! Stop!" I shouted. My whole body felt like it was a tightly wound spring and my hand unintentionally gripped Remus's harder. "Just stop!"

"James," Sirius protested, sounding upset that I'd gotten angry with him.

"No! This isn't helping...please just stop," I pleading, I could feel my whole body shaking.

"That's it!" Madam Pomfrey snapped. "I told you to stop and now you have him agitated! Mr Black and Mr Snape go to your own beds. Mr Pettigrew you're not injured so leave the infirmary. You too Mr Lupin. Move it!"

There was the sound of shuffling feet as everyone separated and moved away. I loosened my grip slightly on Moony's hand but refused to let him go. I heard Madame Pomfrey huff before the sound of a chair being pushed up to the bed reached my ears.

"Thank you," I whispered gratefully as Remus sat down on the chair, keeping hold of my hand.

**A/N: Please review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter was also co-written by DracoAngelOfLight. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

Severus's POV

I moved over to the bed to the left of where Lily and Potter lay. His eyes were wrapped with some kind of material and he was dressed in the usual hospital gowns. Whatever Black though I didn't do it on purpose; I would never try to maim someone with a potion and that's what blinding someone was.

I felt guilty and confused; my potion was working fine and I'd never screwed up like that before. I looked down at the bandages on my wrists and hands that Madam Pomfrey had wrapped; they were coated with a potion to neutralize the potion and the pain but I could still feel twinges of burning.

If it was still hurting me I couldn't even imagine what it was like for Potter since he had gotten it full force in the face. He hadn't even been near us and then suddenly he was grabbing Lily and shouting to look out. He'd even shoved me out of the way and I didn't understand why; Potter hated me and yet it was the second time that he had saved me.

I watched as Madam Pomfrey leaned over him, trying to coax him to drink whatever potion she had in her hand; probably another pain reliever or maybe something to make him sleep. She wasn't getting anywhere though; he kept shaking his head and twisting away from the potion.

I couldn't look at Lily; I didn't want to see the hate in her eyes. I wished that I could rewind time and stop Potter from getting injured, anything to get rid of the guilt that was slowly eating away at me. Lupin was still sat next to Potter, it sounded like he was trying to convince him to drink the potion but wasn't having any success.

Potter's hand was white from the force that he was using to hold on to his friends hand and I wondered how Lupin wasn't showing any signs of pain. Yet again, he must have been used to it from full moons. Eventually, Potter fell asleep without taking the potion and Lupin moved away, flexing his hand absently as he moved to find Black and Pettigrew.

Hesitating, I moved closer to Potter's chair and sat down on the seat that Lupin had just left. "I'm sorry," I murmured, hating the way my voice broke slightly.

Potter shifted restlessly on the bed and made a sound of pain as he woke up, his hand searching helplessly for someone. Without thinking, I put my hand into his and watched as he relaxed straight away. "Remus?" He muttered sleepily, coming back to awareness slowly.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, forgetting for a second that he couldn't see the action. "No," I answered carefully. "It's Snape."

I took a deep breath and let it out in an attempt to get rid of my involuntary feelings of guilt and pity. I may have despised Black and Potter, but I would never have wished something like this on them. I felt his hand tighten around mine and he turned his head to the side like he was trying to sense something.

"Relax, Potter," I reassured, watching him carefully for signs of unease. "Or else Madam Pomfrey is going to make you take that potion and I hear its particularly nasty tasting."

Potter snorted. "Every Potion tastes like that," he told me before frowning in thought. "What did you say before?" His awareness was coming back to him slowly.

I hated having to say it again and I refused to even look at Lily who was watching both of us as if she expected me to smother him with a pillow. "I said I was sorry."

Potter stayed silent and Lily shifted slightly on her bed before settling back down facing in the opposite direction; probably her way of giving us some privacy while not leaving us alone. Awkwardly, I stood up and took my hand out from Potter's grip, unsure that I should stay around any longer.

"Don't leave!" Potter's voice cracked and I immediately grabbed his hand and sat back down again. "I-I just can't be a-alone."

Potter sounded scared and young, all traces of the tough bully were gone and a light blush was on his face at having to admit his weakness to me. I guessed that he didn't know Lily was still in the bed next to him, otherwise he wouldn't have thought he was alone, and then I remembered the way he was holding tightly to Lupin.

"You're not alone," I told him carefully, unsure whether I should be speaking or what to say after that admission.

Potter's breathing hitched slightly and he turned his head to face me. I had the creepy feeling that he was looking straight at me, even though his eyes were covered and he couldn't see much. "I'm going blind, Snape. I can't see if there's anyone there. I could be in a room of people and think that I'm alone."

There was a stifled sob from the bed next to us and I flicked my gaze up to see that Lily was facing us again, her hand pressed against her mouth and tears streaming down her cheeks. I felt my heart twist painfully at the pure anguish on her face, even as Potter stiffened as he realized that someone else was in the room with us and had heard him.

His head turned towards the sound as if he knew the sound of the voice. "S-Snape who's on the bed next to me?" He asked as if he was hoping I would tell him that is was someone he didn't know or that it wasn't who he thought it was.

I looked at Lily, the anguish on her face was tearing my insides apart. "Lily's there," I winced as Potter tightened his hold on my hand.

"She heard me then," he stated sadly, embarrassed about admitting his fear in front of the girl he claimed to love.

I sighed. "Yes."

"She's crying," he said it as a statement but I answered anyway.

"Yes..."

Potter groaned; the one thing we both seemed to have in common was that we hated to see, or hear in Potter's case, Lily crying.

I caught Lily's eye and jerked my head in the direction of Potter. She got off of her bed and stepped carefully to his side; bandages were wrapped up her arms and the sight made my guilt triple in size; Potter may have been the worst hurt, but the simple fact that Lily was hurt at all was horrible, a fact I was sure Potter would agree with me on.

Lily hesitated slightly as she reached the bed, before climbing up to sit next to Potter and taking his hand in hers. "I'm here," she assured him. "You can't be alone if I'm here."

"I'm sorry that you got hurt," I told her, Potter seemed to know somehow that the comment wasn't meant for him as he turned his head towards Lily. Lily didn't say anything, but she reached over and held my hand so that all three of us were connected.

Potter seemed to have relaxed a bit when her slim hand had slid into his. "I'm sorry too."

Startled, I looked down at him in surprise. "What are you sorry for?" As far as I could tell, Potter had nothing to apologize for, if anything he deserved to be thanked for everything he'd done.

"If I had moved quicker I could have made sure neither of you got hurt," he mumbled guilty. "But you both got hit and my friends got hurt just for the fact that they tried to help me."

"Ever the Gryffindor," I snorted, using humour to hide my shock. Potter actually felt guilty that he hadn't managed to protect us from all of the potion; of all the things to be sorry for I thought that that was the most ridiculous.

"Potter you couldn't have stopped us from getting hurt," Lily denied. "The potion exploded everywhere, we were just lucky no one else got badly hurt."

He sighed again but let the subject go. "What happened? All I remember is seeing the cauldron start to shake and bubble…"

I shook my head hopelessly. "I don't know… I must have accidentally dropped something in it or forgotten something."

"_You_ make a mistake on a Potion?" Potter teased. It wasn't said cruelly and I knew then that he didn't blame me at all for what had happened, even if I blamed myself.

"It could happen," I shrugged but an unwilling smile tugging at my lips, Lily didn't try to hide her smile at all and her eyes danced happily for a few seconds.

"Do you want your potion yet, Potter?" She asked, noticing him grimace in pain. She squeezed my hand and then let go, reaching over to the table and picking up the potion. My hand felt empty without Lily but I concentrated on what Potter was saying and ignored the feeling.

"I don't want to sleep, I need to savour my eyesight while I can," he admitted.

I frowned and reached for the potion before giving Lily a meaningful glance that she understood straight away. We had often been able to communicate without speaking to each other when we were younger and I was pleased to see that even after two years apart we were still able to do so.

"My arms are beginning to hurt," she said, facing Potter as she spoke. I could normally tell when she way lying so I guessed that her arms really were beginning to hurt her. "Why don't we make a deal? I'll take some of your potion if you do."

Potter frowned; his desire to help Lily warring with his aversion of going to sleep.

He seemed to be debating the two ideas in his head but I knew what he would choose. If it had been me then no matter how much I wanted to stay awake, I wouldn't have been able to leave Lily in pain and I knew Potter would be thinking the same thing.

Finally, he heaved a sigh and nodded reluctantly. Lily immediately tipped a bit into her mouth and then helped Potter to drink the rest of the bottle. It must have been as nasty as I said as his face screwed up in distaste.

"Merlin that tastes worse than Sirius's Quidditch socks," he moaned. It seemed to take effect quickly as his grip on mine and Lily's hands slacked. I set his hand down on the bed and then looked at Lily.

"I am going to sit by him for a while," she whispered, keeping hold of his hand. I nodded as I stood up and made my way over to the bed that I was assigned.

My body felt numb as I lay down, so much had happened and it felt like everything was changing. Eager to leave my thoughts behind, I drank the potion that Madame Pomfrey had left for me and fell into a dreamless sleep.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Partly co-written by **_**DracoAngelOfLight**_** Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

James's POV

The sound of a door slamming open woke me up. I didn't know what time it was but from the bit of light I could see through the bandages I guessed it was morning. I could hear Madame Pomfrey speaking quietly, she sounded like she was trying to calm someone down. The conversation got louder and I heard footsteps getting closer to my bed, recognizing the voices, I heaved myself up so that I was sat up against the headboard.

"Hello, mum, dad," I greeted warily, turning my head to where I thought that they'd stopped.

"Jamesy!" My mum exclaimed, she rushed over to my bed and hugged me tightly. "My poor baby!"

"Mum!" I protested, unable to see who was watching and trying to fight down a blush. "I'm fine!"

"Of course you are," she sniffled as more footsteps got closer to the bed. "You're my brave boy."

"Good morning, Aunt Dorea," Sirius spoke from somewhere to my left. "Uncle Charlus."

Peter and Remus greeted my parents as well but Sirius was the only one who called them Aunt and Uncle. Sirius had run away from home the year before and moved in with us, he'd already spent nearly all of his holidays at my house so my parents had said that he could stay with us and agreed to let him call them his Aunt and Uncle.

"Madame Pomfrey says that you can be released today," my dad informed me, his voice sounded gruff and I knew from experience that it meant he was upset.

I grinned in his direction, hoping to reassure him. "That's great!"

"And then we can take you home," my mum ran her hand across my hair soothingly like she used to when I was a child.

"What!?" I shouted, moving out of her reach and turning my head in her direction. "Why? Has Dumbledore said I can't stay here?"

"Not at all, James," my dad reassured me quickly. "He's said that you can stay and learn here but your mother thinks it would be safer for you to come home instead."

"I don't want to go back home," I told them stubbornly, feeling my heart clench at the thought. "I want to stay here and if Dumbledore says I can then that's what I'm going to do."

I could sense that my mum wanted to argue with me, but both of my parents knew I'd made up my mind and since I was of age they couldn't make the decision for me. They made me promise to come back home during the holidays and the other Marauders promised that they'd take good care of me.

Finally, Madame Pomfrey came over to remove my bandages and my parents left, hugging me one last time and ordering me to write to them with help from one of my friends.

Once the bandages were off, I blinked a few times in surprise and dismay; I'd been hoping that I'd be able to see more than Madame Pomfrey had thought. I could see different shades of light and the outlines of things if they were right in front of me. Everything was in grey, black and white and the people I could see were like looking at shadows.

"There's no scarring," Madame Pomfrey told me as she removed the bandages on my arms. "You're free to go, but remember to come back if anything changes or if you need anything at all. You'll need to talk to your head of house before classes but you can do that on Monday if you want the weekend to get used to everything."

Sirius handed me my clothes, asking hesitantly if I needed any help getting dressed before shutting the curtain around my bed and leaving me alone. Thankfully, he'd told me which way around the clothing was, so it was quite easy to get dressed. I hadn't heard anything from Snape or Lily after our conversation the night before and I found myself curious about how they were.

"Let's go back to the dorm," I said once I was ready and the other Marauders were next to me. "I don't feel like being stared at right now."

They agreed immediately, more than ready to go along with anything I wanted. I could tell that they were nervous around me and wondered how long it would last. I could hear someone walk around to my right before they took hold of my arm, tugging carefully until I took a step forward.

"Great," Peter congratulated, as if walking was some great achievement. "We'll be right here if you need any help." His voice was to the left of me so I knew it wasn't him clinging onto my arm, which meant it was either Padfoot or Moony.

I turned my head slightly as if sniffing like a dog and sneezed. Definitely Padfoot, I could smell his cologne a mile away. "Pads, I am fine, you don't have to hold onto my arm so tight."

I pulled it slightly to see if he would release me but he didn't. I stifled a sigh as we headed up to the dorm room. He kept his hand onto mine making sure I didn't run into any walls or people. Thankfully, we didn't run into anyone; it must have either been during class or lunch time but I was unable to tell the time with my watch or do the spell to check. I felt helpless in that aspect. I heard Remus state the password quietly before Padfoot nearly dragged me into the common room.

"Damn it, Sirius, watch what you're doing; you're going to make him fall," Remus was suddenly in front of me and helping me back to my feet. He brushed off my clothes, fussing until I wanted to scream. What the hell happened to my friends? They were acting like my Mum.

"Moony," I protested, batting at his hands. "Moony, stop! I'm blind not a child." I felt Sirius flinch at the word 'blind' and frowned in his direction, but before I could say anything Peter spoke up.

"Guys, maybe we should get into the dorm before classes end," he suggested. "I doubt James wants to get caught in a crowd when everyone comes back."

I opened my mouth to protest; did they not listen to a word I said? I could make my own decisions! I didn't get the chance to say anything though because Sirius had decided that it was an excellent idea and began helping me walk towards the stairs. I wanted to scream in frustration but Sirius had an iron grip on my arm and walked me up the stairs then over to my bed.

"I'm not tired!" I growled out, but it was like they weren't listening to me. Remus pulled back the blankets and tucked me in. "I'm in my clothes," I pointed out angrily. No one was listening to a single thing that I said. Frustrated, I threw the covers back and got out of the bed, anger making my movements more jerky than usual.

"Knock it off! I am blind, not stupid, not a child, so stop treating me like one!" I started to stomp away from them but tripped over something and landed on my knees. When Peter tried to help me up I snapped at him and yanked my arm away before stumbling back to my feet. "Don't touch me."

"James," Remus said haltingly. "We're only trying to help." I felt a small amount of guilt for snapping at them before pushing it away; they might have been doing what they thought was best but it didn't make it right.

"I don't need help for every little thing," I told them as calmly as I could. "I know this castle better than the back of my hand, or are you forgetting who had to explore every passage when we were creating the map?"

"I did that too," Sirius protested. "But I don't think I could walk around with my eyes shut."

"You don't have to!" I shouted, unable to keep control of my temper any longer. "I appreciate the fact that you only want to help but it's me who has to live with this, not you! I have to learn how to deal with this and you won't be there to help every time...and I'm beginning to hope you won't be if this is how you'll act! I don't need to be babied."

"We aren't trying to baby you prongs!" Sirius shouted, his own temper rising to meet mine. "We're just trying to help! You can't see… you've already fallen over something!"

"I know I can't see! I'm blind not stupid," I snarled at him. "But you are treating me like a kid who can't make his own decisions."

"That's because you can't!" Sirius finally snapped, I could hear him breathing heavily and Remus and Peter both gasped before a tense silence fell over us. "I just mean," Sirius continued in a quieter voice. "You're not thinking clearly. You're in shock and trying to push us away." I knew from the shades that I could still see that Sirius was stood a few feet in front of me and Peter and Remus were on my right next to one of the beds.

"James, please let us help," Remus begged. "I can't pretend to know what you're going through-"

I cut him off before he could continue, all of my frustration and self-pity causing me to lash out. "No you don't know what I'm going through," I agreed harshly. "Being a werewolf might be horrible but it only affects you for a few days every month, I have to live with this for every day of my life!"

I regretted the words as soon as I'd said them but it was too late to take it back. I could hear Remus's intake of breath and could almost feel the hurt radiating off him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered sadly before stumbling for the door and yanking it open, almost falling down the stairs.

I could hear talking in the common room and realized with a bitter smile that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place: I didn't want to see anyone down there but I didn't want to go back to the room either. I took a deep breath walked quickly into the common room; heading to what I hoped was the door. I nearly ran into it when it opened but caught myself at the last moment. I could hear my friends calling my name and I heard Lily's voice asking what was happening but I just kept running, nearly knocking myself into things as I went.

Once I was sure I was far enough away, I stopped and leaned against one of the walls, taking a moment to catch my breath as I figured out where I was. Thankfully, I hadn't been lying when I said that I knew the castle so well, and, after a few panic filled seconds, I managed to figure out that I was close to the library.

I hated the fact that my friends weren't treating me like usual because I really did need someone to speak to. Strangely, the only person who treated me normally had been Snape. I moved slowly through the library doors, I was hoping that there weren't many people in there. I sat down at a table after a second only to hear someone breathing.

"Who's-" I stopped and used what I had been figuring out since the whole incident happened: my sense of smell. I smelt sandalwood and other ingredients, I only knew one person that smelled like that, but I wasn't sure how if I was right since recognizing people in that way was new for me. "Severus?" I heard his intake of breath and quickly realized that he was surprised. We normally called each other by our last names, but at that moment nothing felt like it usually did.

"How in Merlin's name did you know it was me, Potter?" He demanded before pausing and correcting himself. "...James." I smirked in the direction his voice had come from; in the darkness of the library the little bit of my sight that I still had was useless.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I teased, leaning forward so that I was resting my head on my hand.

"Where's the rest of your little group?" He asked, I could practically hear the sneer in his voice.

"Don't know," I shrugged, trying to fake nonchalance while my insides squirmed with guilt about how I'd treated my friends and the knowledge about how they'd feel if they knew I'd rather talk to Snape than them.

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter. Please review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Partly co-written by **_**DracoAngelOfLight**_**. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6**

Severus's POV

I analysed Potter's posture and frowned in thought; he looked exhausted and frustrated but there was a hint of guilt in his eyes. "I would like to know how you knew I was there, James."

"You smell like potions," he sighed while shrugging his shoulders.

I sneered at him to hide my surprise before realizing how pointless it was. "So, what are you doing out here without your little group? Don't tell me they let you out of their sight."

He shrugged again and the guilt became more pronounced. "More like I took off and they haven't found me yet," he grumbled, continuing as if he was talking to himself. "Not a damn baby, don't need to be mothered, I already have one...and she already doesn't think that I can take care of myself. I might not be able to see, but I am not stupid...or deaf!"

"I never said you were," I drawled, raising an eyebrow. He scowled at me, clearly not impressed by my comment. Madame Pince glared at us from her desk, I sighed and looked back to Potter; it seemed to me that he had a lot on his mind and I was the person he'd decided to upload all of his emotional baggage onto.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested, standing up. "It's nearly curfew anyway." Potter followed me out of the room without many problems, I had to steer him out of the way of a few bags but I purposely avoided keeping hold of him, knowing that he needed some freedom at the moment.

When we arrived at a small classroom, I held the door open slightly for him but didn't guide him in. I let him do that himself because he needed the freedom and independence, unfortunately for me; I was the one giving it to him. Once we were settled in the room, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks," he said reluctantly, as if it hurt him to even say it. I shrugged and sat down while James fumbled around for a chair before taking a seat.

"You're welcome," I brushed it off, wanting to get to the point. "Why did you try to find me?"

"I didn't, you were just there," he winced and continued quickly before I could say anything. "I didn't mean it like that! I just had to get out of the dorm; they wouldn't stop and they keep reminding me that I'm going blind." He hung his head, his sightless eyes staring at the ground by our feet. "I know I'm going blind, I can barely see shapes or colours now. But they don't seem to realise that by reminding me of it makes it worse. Then Remus is just...I said something I shouldn't and now…" he trailed off.

"As much as it pains me to say it, I'm sure your friends are just worried about you," I winced as the words left my mouth, finding it hard to even think nice thoughts about my ex-tormentors.

"I know," James moaned. "And I acted like a right git but they were driving me insane!"

"Have you tried telling them any of this?" I questioned, trying to figure out why he felt more comfortable talking to me than his best friends. Old feelings of resentment rose up every time I was forced to comfort him; the only reason I was trying so hard to keep the peace was because I felt so guilty about what had happened.

"Yeah," James flinched and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "That didn't go so well."

"So you decided to tell me instead?" I didn't mean it nastily but James paled and stood up, looking unsure and depressed.

"You're right," he turned his face away from me but I still saw the flash of hurt in his eyes and some part of me twisted painfully. "I shouldn't be burdening you with all of this, not after how I treated you." He laughed bitterly. "I should just be grateful you haven't cursed me yet."

I snarled and jumped out of my seat to face him, purposely choosing my words to goad him out of his self-pity. "Do you think so little of me that you believe I would attack someone defenceless as you?"

My words didn't have the effect I'd been hoping for; he reeled back as if I'd struck him and then fished his wand out of his pocket. Instead of the jinx I was expecting, however, he threw his wand down so that it landed by my feet and then glared at me with tears glistening in his eyes.

"I don't suppose I need that anymore," he spat. I could hear his utter hopelessness hidden underneath false anger. "What a joke to think I could stay here…I'm too weak to be able to defend myself against anything."

I snatched his wand off of the floor and pushed it into his hand, softening my voice so my words sounded kinder. "With an attitude like that you might as well just give up now, what happened to the reckless Gryffindor that wanted to fight for everything he loved? What happened to the ignorant wizard that wouldn't take no for an answer?"

James's knuckles tightened around his wand and his wide eyes searched my face, trying desperately to see more than just my outline. Tears pooled at the bottom of those unseeing eyes and his chest was heaving with a mixture of anger and despair.

"You're right," I sneered, knowing he'd hear it in my voice. "You're a weak, defenceless, helpless, incapable, incompetent, powerless _child_."

His fist lashed out, seemingly without his consent, and hit me in the face, knocking me back. I laughed with satisfaction and spit out a mouthful of blood, grinning even though it stretched my newly split lip.

"I knew the real you had to be in there somewhere," I healed my lip up with a quick charm and then cleaned away my blood from the floor. "How does it feel to be back to being a git?"

"You wanted me to hit you," it was said like a cross between a question and a statement as he stared at me with shock. "You goaded me into it."

"Of course I did," I scoffed. "If I hadn't then you'd never have managed to hit me."

"Always knew you were a masochist," James muttered automatically, as if he was still too shocked to joke around. "Why in Merlin's name would you want me to hit you?"

"To prove that you could," I told him gently. "Now you know that you're not as weak as you think."

"Maybe not," James agreed. "But I still can't use my wand ever again."

"Why not?" I continued while he spluttered out words about his impending blindness. "Sight is just one of the five senses, there's nothing wrong with your other ones, if anything they should get stronger. All you need to do is practise."

"And how do you suppose I do that?" He asked scornfully. "Ask a teacher to let me shoot off spells blindly until I hit something? Yeah, I can see McGonagall loving that!"

I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms. "You do have friends, do you not?"

"I used to," James said unsurely, shifting nervously where he was stood before sinking into his chair and putting his head into his hand so that his next words were muffled. "Do you really think I can do this?"

"I'm sure of it," I stated, because if I was sure of anything it was that James bloody Potter was stubborn enough to do anything if he wanted to; not that I'd ever admit that to anyone, especially not him. "In fact, to prove just how confident I am, I'll even coach you."

"You'd really help me learn how to use magic when I can't see?" James lifted his head up and stared at me. I gazed back calmly, knowing that he couldn't see my expression, but also knowing that if I acted calmly his other senses would pick up on it.

"It won't just be me," I swallowed down the rest of my lingering hatred and forced the next words out with a neutral tone. "Your friends will also help I don't doubt."

"Thank you," he smiled and I saw him relax slightly as if there was one less problem weighing him down. "I'll make sure the others don't bother you or anything. Though I can't make any promises for Sirius."

I grimaced at having to spend more time with Black but consoled myself with the fact that he wouldn't want to upset James, which attacking me would do. It wouldn't stop him from insulting me, but that just meant that I got to insult him back while still being able to say that he started it and I was just defending myself.

We were both startled from our thoughts by the sound of the classroom door slamming open as Lily forced herself into the room and glared at us both as if we'd done something terrible. James had jumped out of his seat at the sound and was now facing the direction of Lily with a strange look on his face; his lips were smiling but the emotions that were normally in his eyes were hidden behind a blank mask.

"Lily," he stated calmly, acting as if nothing had happened and it was just another meeting in the Great Hall. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I'm a prefect," she shot back automatically. "I'm allowed to be out after curfew. You two, however, are not."

I saw the exact moment that the present caught back up with her; her face softened and she stared at James with a look of pity that I knew he'd hate if he'd been able to see it. The look she shot me was full of conflicted emotions before she focused on her house-mate.

"I'm Head Boy," James pointed out, sounding like it was an old argument. He frowned when Lily didn't reply; I got the feeling that she would have normally insulted him by now. "What? No comment? You've not been rendered speechless by my good looks have you?"

"You wish!" Lily scoffed, but it didn't contain its habitual dose of insult and James realized too because his face smoothed out into understanding and he crossed his arms, glaring slightly at her.

I winced at the sight. No matter how much Lily denied it, I knew that, underneath all of the insults and arguments, she considered James a kind of friend and it was hard for her to see him as what she saw as vulnerable. What she, nor his friends, could see was that James was stronger than ever before because he had to be. It was either that or break.

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to update for two weeks now because I'm going on holiday. Please review! :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I hope you haven't forgotten what happened last time, but here's the new chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

James's POV

"I think you'd best go back to your dorm, Snape," Lily said calmly.

I shifted angrily; some part of me wanted Severus to stay because he'd been more understanding than anybody else, but I also wanted to be alone with Lily. I could hear the difference in her voice, the mocking tone we usually used with each other had been replaced with a hidden pity.

"I'll see you later, Severus," I smiled grimly at my own pun and the shadows that made up Lily recoiled in surprise.

Severus snorted. "Yeah, I'll see you soon."

Lily waited until Severus's footsteps had completely faded away before swinging around towards me and grabbing my arm. I jumped in surprise from the contact before stopping all other reactions and looking towards her calmly.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking?!" She demanded, I could hear the worry and stress in her tone but underneath it was still the pity.

"What are you going on about now?" I asked, trying to casually shake off her hold and then resisting the urge to frown when she just tightened her hold.

"You!" She exploded, shaking my arm and then suddenly letting go. "I always knew you were a stupid arrogant fool but I didn't know you were this irresponsible!"

"Wow, Lily," I shot back to hide my hurt. "You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself."

"You just don't get it do you?" She exclaimed, I could feel her glaring at me and I welcomed it because it meant she wasn't feeling sorry for me. "It's too dangerous for you to be walking around school after curfew, especially alone!"

"I used to do all the time," I said through my clenched teeth. "And I wasn't alone anyway, I was with Severus."

"You weren't to start with," Lily pointed out. "Your friends told me about how you stormed out of the tower. They're worried sick!"

I felt my anger rising up and tried my hardest not to let it show. "Since when do you care about my friends?"

"Since when do you spend your spare time with Snape?" She retorted. "Do you really think he'd protect you if anything happened?"

"I don't need protecting!" I shouted, losing my hold on my anger. "I spend time with Severus because he seems to be the only who treats me like a person anymore and not a piece of glass that's about to break!"

"Maybe we treat you like that because you're acting you reckless," Lily sighed in frustration, her body sagging. "I know that you're upset and in denial about this, James, but you're going blind; you can't act like you used to anymore."

"I'm not in denial," I stated. "I know that I'm going blind and I don't see why people feel the need to remind me every few minutes."

"You might know intellectually that you're going blind," Lily said patronisingly. "But you haven't accepted it yet, I can tell."

"Really?" I let all of my sarcasm flow into that one word. "Because I think I've accepted it just fine. It's a bit hard not to when every minute my eyesight grows darker and I see a little less. Tell me, Lily, if you understand so much, what would you do if this had happened to you? Because, personally, I think that this happened to me and I have the right to deal with it however I want."

I'd kept my voice calm and level throughout my speech and Lily seemed to be more nervous about that than anything that I'd actually said. She stayed silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath.

"You can deal with it however you want," she accepted quietly. "But not like this. You can't act like nothing's changed. If you continue like this you're going to get yourself killed."

"It's my life!" I shouted, not realizing until after I'd said it how it would sound after her comment. "Stop trying to tell me how to live!"

"I'm just trying to help you!" She cried. "You're my friend and I want to help."

"Funny," I sneered, something inside was breaking as I spoke. "You were never bothered about being my friend before. I doubt you suddenly realized how wonderful I am just in time for this to happen," I jabbed a hand towards my eyes. "So it's most likely that the reason you're really doing this is because you feel guilty and I can tell you now that I refuse to be some sort of pet project just so that you can clear your conscience."

I saw Lily move but before I could react her hand had reached out and slapped me across my cheek. "Don't you dare talk about me like that," she hissed.

"What?" I mocked. "Don't like the truth?"

"The truth?" Lily shrieked, her limits had obviously been pushed too far. "The truth, _Potter_, is that I have been nice to you. In the Muggle world I could have had you arrested for stalking! You chase after me declaring your love as if I'm an idiot for not falling head over heels for you. I've been pretty tolerant of your stupid crush but the message can't have sunk in yet. Do you honestly believe I could ever fall for such a careless and ignorant _boy_ like you? If you hadn't realized that by now then you were blind long before anything happened to your eyes!"

Even though I'd purposely provoked her for this response, every word still cut into me until by the time she'd finished I was faintly surprised that she couldn't see all of my cuts bleeding out onto the classroom floor. I'd wanted her to get angry, because anything was better than her guilt and pity, but I hadn't expected it to hurt that much.

"Well," I said tonelessly, keeping all of my emotions from showing in my voice. "Now that that's out of the way, you can go back to avoiding me and leaving me to my life." I stepped around her and walked towards the door without stopping.

"Wait!" Lily called, she sounded upset, as if she was close to tears. "Wait, James, please!"

"You've made your point, _Evans_," I stated, turning around so that she could see my expressionless face. "What more could you possibly have to say?"

"I know you must hate me right now," her voice trembled. "But I don't hate you, I'm sorry. Let me walk you back to the dorm, please, don't go wandering around alone just to spite me."

I let out a deep breath and had to hold in hysterical laughter. "I'm not doing it to spite you, and if you'd listened to a word I'd said than you'd know that."

Barely controlling the urge to flee the room as fast as I could, I forced myself to walk composedly away from Lily. Her cries for me to come back tore at my already tattered heart but I couldn't expose myself to anymore pain and being around her at that moment felt like torture.

I didn't know where I was going, nor did I care; I let my feet walk and trusted that I could find my way back from wherever they took me. The thought of going back to my dorm briefly entered my mind before I dismissed it.

I wanted more than anything to just let myself break down and be comforted by the fact that my friends were near, but I'd pushed my friends away from me with my anger and I wasn't sure how to fix that. There was also the problem of how they were treating me, which was the whole reason I'd pushed them away to start with.

A burst of the mad laughter I'd tried so hard to hold in came out of my mouth as I thought about the fact that I felt more comfortable with Severus Snape of all people than with my friends. The memory of how life had been just a few days before made me want to scream in frustration, how could everything change so quickly?

**A/N: I'm not sure whether I like this chapter or not, but I hope you do. Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter was not fun to write, mostly because I really wanted to write the next one. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

Severus's POV

The sound of running footsteps alerted me to the fact that I was being followed. Stifling a sigh, I stopped my journey to the Slytherin dungeons and turned around. A few moments later Lily caught up to me, she looked distressed and, even in the poor lighting; I could see tear tracks on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked once she'd reached my side. "Where's James?"

"He's gone!" Lily cried, shaking and looking like she just wanted to curl up and cry. "We had a fight and he walked away. I don't know where he went but I'm scared he might get hurt."

Briefly, I wondered why people thought I was the ideal person to confide their problems in; was there a sign on my back that announced me as a Gryffindor counsellor? It wouldn't surprise me if the Marauders had stuck one there.

"I'm sure his fine," I reassured her. "You've got to start trusting that he can look after himself."

"But he wasn't in his right mind!" She protested, her eyes portraying the seriousness of the situation. "I said some awful things and anything could have happened to him!"

A stab of worry twisted my gut before I pushed it away. "If it will make you feel better, than I'll help you try to find him," I told her. There was no need to mention the fact that I was a little anxious to find the boy wonder too.

"Thank you," she attempted a smile but it was only superficial; she was too upset for anything else. "Where should we start looking?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "You know him better than I do."

"I thought I did," Lily cleared her throat and blinked quickly a few times to get rid of her tears before they could fall. "But you seem to know him better than anyone since the a-accident."

I was saved from answering that surprising revelation by the arrival of Lupin. He stared at us for a few seconds before speeding up so that he was stood next to us. His eyes flickered briefly to me before frowning at the state Lily was in.

I was relieved that out of all of James's friends, it was Lupin that found us. Black and Pettigrew would have taken one look at Lily's distressed figure and blamed everything on me. Lupin had always been the calmest of the self-proclaimed 'Marauders' and he never delighted in taunting me like the others.

"Remus," Lily sent him a strained smile. "What are you doing out after curfew?"

"I'm on prefect duty," his frown became more pronounced. Since Lily was Head Girl, she would have been the one to organize the prefect schedules; she should have known that Lupin was on duty. James was Head Boy, but I wouldn't have expected him to help much before his accident and he'd had no time to do anything after it.

"Oh," Lily mumbled, gazing down at her feet as if she didn't have the willpower to look Lupin in the face. Knowing Lily like I did, she was probably feeling too guilty to be able to admit to Lupin that she'd lost one of his best friends, especially one that was already 'injured'.

"Sirius said you chased after James," Lupin announced doubtfully, his eyes flickering back to me before analysing Lily's stance. "Did you find him?"

"I did," Lily admitted quietly. "But we had a fight and now I don't know where he is!"

Her voice had gotten louder as she spoke until it nearly echoed off of the stone walls. Lupin stared at her stupidly for a few moments before turning to face me and raising his eyebrows as if I could explain everything better than Lily could. I took another glance at Lily and then decided that I agreed with Lupin; I was probably the best person to speak to at that moment.

"They had an argument and James stormed off," I explained briefly. "She's scared he might get hurt wandering around alone and apparently he wasn't in the best mind set when he left. She came after me to get me to help look for him."

"Right," Lupin nodded. "In that case we should probably get Sirius and Peter to help too. If anyone can find him it's us."

"I want to help," Lily protested as we began to lead her back to the Gryffindor tower. "I need to apologize."

"You can," Lupin soothed. "Wait here with Snape while I go get Sirius and Peter. Don't worry; we'll find him and he'll be okay. James knows this school better than anyone, he couldn't get lost if he wanted to."

He muttered the password under his breath and then climbed into the tower. The portrait hole slammed shut before I could see inside and I rolled my eyes at the Fat Lady that guarded the door as she glared at me. While we waited, Lily took a few deep breaths and began to calm herself down so that she'd be more use to us and able to use her wits instead of being hysterical.

"I can't believe the idiot has the map with him," Black grumbled as he came through the hole with Pettigrew and Lupin following him. "And he won't answer his mirror either, it's like he's trying to make us worry!"

"Well he's succeeding," Pettigrew muttered with a sigh. He looked over to where Lily and I were stood and frowned at us, nudging Black in the ribs with his elbow.

"Be nice," Lupin hissed before they could say anything. "The last thing James needs is us fighting again. Let's just find him, yeah?"

Black gritted his teeth and scowled at me before turning to Lily and pretending I didn't exist, Pettigrew copied him and Lupin rolled his eyes at me as if he shared my pain of the two fools. Lily had managed to get herself back together in time for them to look at her, but she'd missed the silent conversation we'd had.

"Where did you see him last?" Black asked her, softening his voice so that he didn't seem overbearing.

"A small classroom near the library," she answered straight away. "I didn't see which direction he went in though."

"That's okay," Lupin stepped in when it seemed like Black was going to question her again. "Are you sure he didn't go to the library?"

"It's closed after curfew," Lily said immediately.

Pettigrew snorted. "As if that would stop him."

"He wouldn't go there if he didn't want to be found," I spoke up for the first time, earning myself two distrustful stares.

"Why's that?" Black demanded, glaring at me as if daring me to answer incorrectly.

Resisting the temptation to roll my eyes and sigh, I spoke slowly as if talking to a child; the easiest way to irritate him. "Because that's where he went when he ran from you the first time and he's not stupid enough to try the same thing twice."

"How do you know that?" Black's glare went from distrusting to downright angry. "Were you following him? Wanted to see him at his lowest?!"

"You're being ridiculous," I told him simply. "I didn't seek him out at all. He came into the library and sat next to me, it was near to curfew so I suggested we leave."

"And he just agreed to leave with you?" Pettigrew repeated doubtfully. "Even though you've hated each other for years."

"Believe what you want," I shrugged casually. I would have told them everything; about how James trusted me more than them, but the key word there was 'trust' and the stupid sentimental part of me rebelled at the thought of breaking his confidence in me.

"Where do you think he is, Severus?" Lily questioned before we could start arguing for real.

"He'd have been acting on instinct," I mused out loud. "Where would he go without realizing it?"

"I read that when you first lose your sight you're drawn to open spaces," Lily offered.

Black nodded as if he'd already known that fact. "He probably went to the Quidditch field."

"You can't get a more open space," Pettigrew agreed straight away. "Unless you count the Forbidden Forest."

We turned to stare at him and I noticed badly hidden horror in everybody's eyes at the thought of James stumbling around blindly in the Forbidden Forest. An unnoticeable shudder went down my back just from thinking of the possibility before I could convince myself that not even James Bloody Potter would be that much of a moron.

"The Forbidden Forest isn't an open space," Lupin said eventually, sounding as if he was trying to reassure himself. "There are too many trees."

"Quidditch field it is," Black clapped his hands together and began to walk away as if the conversation was finished.

"I don't think he's going to be there," I said, causing them to stop walking and turn to look at me.

Black heaved a sigh, acting like I was the one that was causing them so much trouble. "Where do you think he'll be then?"

I reigned in the temptation to sigh and instead took a deep breath, praying that I was wrong but needing to say it just in case. "Is there any chance he could have gone to the Astronomy tower?"

**A/N: This is my shortest chapter for this story, but the next chapter is, hopefully, going to be one of the longest so it evens out. Please review! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9**

James's POV

I took a deep breath as I stepped forward, walking slowly until I hit the barrier. It had taken me a few moments, but I'd realized that I was standing in the Astronomy tower. With my eyesight getting darker every hour, it felt like the world was pressing in on me.

Moving my face so that I was looking out to the sky, I chocked back a sob. I couldn't see anything; it was like I'd gone fully blind. In the castle, there were walls and people that I could see if I was close enough, even if they were just outlines, but everything was too far away outside, it was as if I was staring into darkness.

Suddenly, the world no long felt suffocating; in fact it felt too big. The space outside was wide open and ready to swallow me whole the minuet I thought about stepping out. How could I ever leave the castle? I was able to walk around so well because I'd explored every inch of Hogwarts, but I didn't know anything once I stepped out of the doors.

Absently, I leaned forward so that my head was hanging out past the barrier; it felt like a dangerous thing to do and I was so tired of being accused of being reckless. The small adrenalin rush made me feel giddy as I stood there, knowing not to try anything else, no matter what anyone said, I wasn't stupid and I definitely wasn't suicidal.

"_You were blind long before anything happened to your eyes!"_ Lily's words echoed back to me and my heart clenched in despair. I knew that it was my own fault for purposely trying to get her angry, but I couldn't have lasted if she'd continued to pity me. To make matters worse, she was completely right, I'd basically stalked her for years; it was a miracle that she hadn't done more than hex me.

How could I have been such a fool to think that she actually liked me? She'd made it clear; time and time again that she hated me. The only reason she was trying to be nice was because she felt sorry for me and was thankful that I'd saved her from my fate.

It would be better for everyone involved if I could just let go of my feelings for her, wrap them up and throw them out into the blackness that would soon be my life. My heart ached like a physical pain as I squeezed my eyes shut, quenching any tears that might have wanted to escape.

The sound of running footsteps alerted me to the fact that I wouldn't be alone much longer. Trying to look casual, I quickly wiped a hand across my face to scrub away any traces of my previous thoughts as I relaxed my stance so that I was resting my weight against my arms, leaning out into the unknown.

"James!" Sirius's voice shouted as the noise of people coming up behind me echoed slightly around the stone walls.

"Hey, Padfoot," I greeted, refusing to turn and face them in case I had red eyes. "Nice night isn't it?"

"Sure is," Peter said nervously, I could hear them shifting and quick whispers that I couldn't be bothered trying to listen to. "What are you doing up here?"

"Just looking at the stars," I smiled, the expression feeling twisted on my face. I could hear the bitter note in my voice but I didn't try to hide it; my emotions were all over the place.

"You can see them just as well from over here," Lily spoke up, causing me to twitch slightly as I heard the tremor in her voice; I hadn't expected her to be there with the guys, who else was there?

"I'm perfectly comfy here," I retorted, ignoring the twist of guilt in my stomach as I remembered our last conversation. "Who else is here?"

"Um, Peter, Remus, Lily, Sniv-," Sirius cut himself off quickly before continuing. "_Snape_ and me."

"And you're all here to come see me?" I said, amused by the thought of them all trying to get on for my benefit. "I'm flattered, why are you really here?"

"They were worried about you," I could hear the sneer in Severus's voice and it made my lips twitch into a real smile. "I, of course, got dragged into it, Merlin knows why."

"We thought you might care about where he was," Lily shot back, her voice sounded strained with a mixture of anger and fear.

"Why?" Severus retorted easily. "He looks perfectly fine to me."

"He's leaning over the edge of a very tall building!" Lily whispered harshly, obviously not wanting me to hear what she was saying.

The facts clicked into place for me; they'd come running up to find me because they thought I was going to jump. The idea almost made me laugh with the twisted irony; I hadn't even thought about suicide before they'd given me the idea and I certainly wasn't going to end my life just because I'd gone blind, I cared about my friends and family too much to do that to them.

"You think I'm going to jump?" I repeated, turning around so that my hip was resting against the barrier and crossing my arms in front of me. "Last I checked, I didn't grow wings in that accident, why would I suddenly give flying a try now?"

"We were just worried about you," Sirius muttered quietly. "You were really angry earlier and I know that you get depressed after getting angry. You always do."

"Not that depressed," I said gently, wanting to be angry that they thought I was going to kill myself, but I couldn't hate them for worrying about me. That didn't mean I couldn't hate the situation, but I couldn't handle much more anger at that moment.

"Noted," Sirius snorted sadly. "But don't worry us like that again, yeah?"

"Of course," I rolled my eyes, hearing Sirius, Remus and Peter chuckle at the sight while Lily and Severus stayed silent.

"That's it?" Lily questioned in a quiet but angry voice. "He says he's not depressed and that's the end of it? He could be lying!"

"But I'm not," I spoke through my clenched teeth. "What are you even doing here? You made your opinion of me very clear earlier."

"Fine," the word was clipped and filled with emotions I didn't want to identify. "I'll leave." Her footsteps echoed as she walked down the stairs, her exit calm and collected while I felt the exact opposite.

"I'll make sure she's okay," Severus told us, following her while muttering about 'dramatic Gryffindors' under his breath. There was a silence as I tried to get my anger back under control and didn't succeed very well.

"Do you need help getting back to the dorm?" Sirius finally asked when the silence began to feel too awkward.

"No," I said shortly, trying hard not to lash out at them. "I'm not an invalid."

"No you're not," Remus agreed, speaking up for the first time. "But you do need us, it's nothing to be ashamed about, we all depend on each other. You, me, Sirius and Peter we all need each other; you're family, James, you're our brother and we want to help you."

I deflated, nodding wearily as the fight left me, leaving me exhausted. I felt like I'd spent all my time since the accident angry and all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a week. "I'm sorry. I've been a jerk to you guys and even worse to Lily."

"It's natural to feel angry," Remus soothed. "You don't want to be seen as weak, especially to Lily, that's why you've been lashing out, but you need to know that we just want to help. Lily too."

"We get to look after you this time," Peter piped up. "You've always been the protector, maybe it's your turn to get protected."

"You're right," I agreed tiredly. "Let's just go back to the dorm."

I reached forward and took hold of Sirius's elbow, feeling too tired to try find my way on my own. I felt confident that I could get back to the dorm unaided if I needed to, but a part of me liked the fact that I could depend on my friends without worrying about what they'd think of me.

Sirius squeezed my shoulder briefly before leading me away from the barrier and down the stairs. I could hear hushed voices as we got to the bottom and Sirius stopped walking when we reached where the noise was coming from.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Lily spoke up. I could tell that her words were directed at me and I felt another stab of guilt about the way I'd treated her.

"I'm so sorry," I told her. "I've been awful to you and you should hate me, I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"I don't hate you, James," Lily replied quickly. "I'm your friend and I'm going to be there for you. Whether you want me to be or not."

"Speaking of which," I turned to face where I could see Severus's outline. "You promised you'd help me practise magic."

"I must have been experiencing a moment of craziness," Severus muttered. "But I did indeed say that. Why don't we see how your first classes go? Then we can organize a place and time to meet."

"Can we join these training sessions?" Remus asked, perking up at the idea.

Severus nodded briefly. "If you can behave." Sirius bristled at his words but I tightened my hold on his arm to stop him from saying anything.

"Great," Remus answered, obviously sensing Sirius's annoyance. "Let's get back to the dorm then, before the whole night is gone."

Severus muttered a quick word of parting before leaving as the rest of us went back to Gryffindor Tower. The Fat Lady glared at us for waking her up but she let us enter the portrait hole after we kept repeating the password. Lily went up the stairs to the girls dorms after saying goodnight and then we went to our room.

I stumbled a few times as I entered the dorm, letting go of Sirius so that I could go to the bathroom. We never really tidied much up in our room since everything that was on the floor was things we used too often to put away and anything else was clothing that had come out of someone's trunk.

Knowing they wouldn't care, I fell straight into the first bed I came across, closing my eyes and relaxing into the mattress. I could smell the faint odour of chocolate and Peter's shampoo, so I knew that it was his bed I'd stolen. It wasn't the first time we'd slept in someone else's bed, we normally stumbled into the room after our adventures and claimed which ever bed we could.

"Dibs on Moony's bed!" Sirius cried, I heard the sound of a brief scuffle before a mattress creaked. Remus's bed was always neat and tidy so if we weren't too tired we'd fight over who got to mess it up.

"Fine, looks like I'm in Prongs's bed," Remus sighed over the sound of curtains closing.

"Why do I get stuck with Sirius's bed?" Peter complained good-naturedly. Sirius was known for leaving his bed in a mess, which meant that he sometimes put things down and then lost them. The last time I slept in his bed I'd found an odd sock and a broken quill that stabbed me in the back when I was trying to sleep.

"Because you didn't think to claim Moony's," I muttered sleepily into my pillow. "Snooze you lose, Wormtail."

There was a telltale 'thump' as a pillow flew past my head, coming from the direction of Sirius's bed. I reached up and grabbed it before launching it back the same way, smiling as I heard a startled cry from Peter. After years of living in the same room, I'd grown able to throw things at my friends without looking at them, a skill that came in handy when any of them tried to prank me while I was sleeping.

"Go to sleep," Remus moaned. "At this rate we'll be awake all night."

"Not to worry," Sirius laughed. "We can always sleep in class."

"This is why you're not a prefect," Remus stated in amusement.

I snorted. "I'm Head Boy and I agree with Sirius."

"Outvoted," Peter chuckled. "Mr Wormtail declares that classes are for sleeping."

"Mr Prongs seconds this declaration and says that he will demonstrate tomorrow."

"Mr Padfoot claims that this should have been declared years ago."

"Mr Moony hates you all and would really like to go to sleep now."

**A/N: After having so many ideas for this chapter, I'm not sure it turned out like I wanted it to. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Enjoy! **

**Chapter 10**

Severus's POV

For the first time after our argument in Fifth year, Lily sat next to me in Ancient Runes. Lupin sat behind us and placed his bag and the chair next to him so that no one could take it. It was the first day of classes since the accident and we were all worried about how James was doing; not that I'd admit it.

Luckily, it was quite an easy day. According to Lupin, James had Divination first followed by an hour of Charms and then nothing until after lunch when he had Herbology and Potions. My timetable meant that I would be in his classes for Transfiguration and Potions but he wouldn't be in any class alone since at least one of his friends was in each lesson.

After my own lesson of Herbology, which was at the same time as James's Charms class, I hurried to the Gryffindor Tower where Lily was waiting for me with Lupin, Pettigrew, Black and James. Since I'd agreed to help James learn how to use his magic when he couldn't see, we'd agreed to find a place to train and his friends wanted to come along too.

"We know a good place to practise," James announced when I got there, nodding in my direction as a welcome. I noticed that none of his friends looked pleased to hear James's statement but they didn't look like they would cause any problems.

"Good," I nodded. "Do you want to show me it now so that I know where to go next time?"

"We also need to organise a time," Lily added, smiling briefly at me before following James down the corridor.

Black blocked my path before I could start after them, but Pettigrew and Lupin followed James and Lily after exchanged worried glances. I waited for Black to speak, purposely not showing any emotion, though I did raise one of my eyebrows to irritate him.

"What's your deal?" He demanded in a harsh whisper, his eyes flickering to James's back. "You couldn't bear to be near James last week and now suddenly you want to be his best friend?"

"I don't expect you to understand, Black," I sneered. "But Wizard tradition dictates that I repay my debt to James. He pulled me out of the way of that potion; I therefor owe him something in return."

"You didn't try to repay him when he saved your life," Black argued, his eyes were filled with suspicion but I could see that he was beginning to believe me; he was raised with Pure-blood traditions and the idea of repaying a debt would have seemed reasonable to anyone in that society. A society that the so-called 'Marauders' mistakenly thought I belonged to.

"He wouldn't have had to save me if you hadn't tried to kill me in the first place," I snarled. "He corrected your mistake; I owe him nothing for that."

"You're really only doing this to repay him?" He questioned, still suspicious.

"Why else would I be here?" I shot back, side-stepping the question. There was no way that I was going to admit to Black about the guilt I felt every time I saw James's sightless eyes or the way that some part of me, the part that felt responsible for his accident, also felt slightly protective of him. Black would never understand that the longer I was around James the more I forgot our past and began to see him as an ally, if not a friend.

It was hard for me to trust anyone; the only person I'd ever trusted in my life was Lily and when we ended our friendship I felt as if I'd lost my only family. As James and I began to put our past hatred behind us, my broken bond with Lily slowly began to heal itself and I could never repay James for that.

I loved Lily, I probably always would, but I accepted that we would never be more than friends and if I could gain her friendship back then I would have everything I needed. The fact that James was on his way to becoming a friend was an unexpected surprise and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. On the upside it would mean that he wouldn't bother me anymore, but it also meant that I had to accept that James had more sides than I'd thought.

"Are you two coming or not?" James called, breaking the tense moment between Black and me.

Black gave me one last inquiring glance before turning around and taking his place on James's right side, close enough that he could reach out if he needed to but not so close that James would feel crowded and get annoyed. I followed behind them next to Lily and Lupin, the only other Marauder that seemed to actually have no problems with my presence.

Eventually, we made it to the seventh floor corridor. I watched with interest as Pettigrew paced in front of a section of wall until a door appeared as if it had always been there. The Marauders exchanged grins at Lily's surprised face as they led us inside. I, too, was surprised but I'd learnt quickly in Slytherin to not show my emotions.

We stepped into a big room; it had a few bookshelves on one wall and a few red chairs and couches around a table near to the shelves, but the rest of the room was covered in gym mats that were perfect for training and would provide a soft place to avoid getting hurt.

"What is this place?" Lily breathed, walking over to the shelves to get a better look at the books there. "I've never even heard of it before."

"It's called the Room of Requirement," Black answered with a cocky grin.

"Or the Come and Go room," Lupin interrupted, ignoring Black as he rolled his eyes. Lupin continued to describe how the room was used, adding that it couldn't be used to create food or drinks.

"It's perfect," I commented grudgingly. "It will serve our purposes well."

"What a great compliment," James laughed. "I thought you'd like it." A loud growl interrupted before we could say anything else, looking up I noticed Pettigrew blush while the others laughed.

"I suppose we should go get lunch," Black chuckled. "It seems Wormtail it hungry."

"When isn't he?" James quipped, dodging a swipe from Pettigrew as if he could see it coming. I guessed it must have been from their close friendship; it was most likely a natural reflex after saying something like that.

"When should we meet up again?" Lily asked curiously, staring as James.

To answer, James dug two pieces of parchment out of his pocket and handed one to Lily and the other to me. "Anything you write on these will appear on our parchments too. I'll write the meeting time on once I know when we can meet up."

Black looked disgusted by the fact that I now had a way of reading his conversations to his friends, but kept quiet after James put his arm around his shoulders. Pettigrew didn't look much happier about it either but he followed his friends lead and settled with just shooting me a glare. Lupin just shrugged and pulled his own parchment out to show us how it worked.

Lily and I left together to walk to the Great Hall for lunch since we sensed that the Marauders wanted some time to talk between them without an audience. We had to split up to our separate house tables once we got there, but it was nice to know that Lily wasn't just putting up with me because she, too, wanted to help James.

Since I'd been hanging around the Gryffindors, I was treated even worse in Slytherin. They couldn't get away with much in public, so as long I wasn't in the Common Room, they had to settle with treating me like a leper and subtly making comments or pushing into me when walking.

It had been bad from the moment I'd told them I no longer agreed with the Dark Lord, but by trying to help James, the other Slytherins were now convinced that I'd joined the other side and had betrayed them.

Even with my treatment from the Slytherins getting worse and the other Marauders openly admitting that they didn't trust or like me, I was still determined to help James. Nothing was going to stop me from continuing down the path I'd started following. As far as I was concerned, my chosen path led me away from all of my mistakes and was beginning to take me closer to the happiest part of my life; Lily.

By the time Potions came around, I was more than relieved to take my seat next to Lily and was absolutely delighted when she smiled at me. Potions class was where I felt most at home but I'd never make another potion if it meant seeing Lily smile at me like I was her friend again. The fact that she'd willingly smiled at me made me feel like I was flying.

I saw Black take his normal seat and raised my eyebrow at him in question when I saw that James wasn't with him. Motioning a writing gesture, he pulled out a piece of parchment. Understanding what he meant, I got out my parchment and waited to see what he wanted to tell me.

_He said he wasn't feeling up to it_, the writing appeared on the page in front of me in Black's handwriting. _Insisted that I come and tell you_.

I nodded and put the parchment back into my robes pocket, ignoring the knot in my stomach that told me that something was wrong. My common sense told me that James was fine, he was probably back in Gryffindor Tower with Pettigrew or Lupin, but the part of me that always warned me of trouble was telling me that something was happening and it wasn't good.

I noticed that Lily and Black looked nervous too and Black kept glancing at the classroom door as if he just wanted the lesson to end so he could leave. I hoped that it was just because we were worried about him and didn't like that we weren't a hundred per cent sure where he was, but a deeper part of me that I'd learnt to rely on contradicted that hope.

**A/N: Sort-of-but-not-really-a-cliff-hanger. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

James's POV

I was thankful that Sirius hadn't pushed me into going to Potions; he'd studied my face for a few seconds and then just told me to get some rest before leaving me in the Common Room. I felt shame and embarrassment well up just thinking about it. It was completely irrational to be scared of going back to that classroom, but every time I thought of doing just that, a sense of pure panic flooded through me.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only reason I'd told Sirius that I was tired. He'd said he would skive with me but I'd insisted that he go to class. I wanted to be alone so that I could mourn my loss, I thought I'd come to terms with the fact that I would lose the last of my sight, but as the day went on my sight had been getting darker until I couldn't see anything anymore, not even if I stared at a light.

I hadn't told Sirius either of my reasons for skipping Potions, but I think he guessed the first one. I'd purposely kept from telling him that I was fully blind; I feared what his reaction would be. I knew he'd want to help me even more and all I wanted to do was be alone for a while so that I could drop my brave persona and grieve.

However, after staying alone in the Common Room with nothing to distract me from the darkness that now surrounded me, I began to wish I'd gone to Potions. Thinking of something to do, I decided to go talk to McGonagall since I'd need her help to be able to continue my classes.

My first class since the incident hadn't been any different to usual since it was Divination and all I did in that lesson was sleep or catch up on homework. Charms had been harder; I couldn't see the wand movements to copy them so Sirius had had to hold my wrist and direct my hand in the right flick. Herbology was a lost cause; I couldn't even see the plants, how was I supposed to plant them and avoid getting attacked by the feistier ones?

I stumbled around in the dorm room for a bit until I found my mirror that would allow me to speak to Sirius if I needed to. He'd placed it on the table by my bed in case I needed it. Once I'd pocketed it, I left the Gryffindor Tower and began making my way to the first floor of the DADA tower where I knew McGonagall's office was located.

It didn't occur to me until I was halfway there that she might not be there since it was the middle of the door and classes would still be being taught. By that time though I decided to go anyway and just wait for her if she wasn't there. I couldn't stand the thought of going back to the Common Room to be alone with my thoughts anymore.

Thankfully, when I knocked on where I thought her door was, I was told to enter. The journey there had been my worst walk through Hogwarts ever; I didn't realize how much I'd depended on my ability to see basic outlines. Without that ability I'd found myself bumping into numerous walls and suits of armour, not to mention the amount of times I nearly broke my neck stumbling on the stairs.

"Mr Potter," McGonagall greeted me as I pushed her door open. She sounded surprised. "Do come in and sit down."

I shut the door behind me, clinging onto the handle as I tried to remember the layout of the office. I would have been fine in Dumbledore's office after the amount of times I'd been there but McGonagall usually took us to the Headmaster and not her own office so I'd only been there in Fifth Year for the career talk. Praying that she hadn't moved things around, I took a few steps forward and promptly walked into what felt like a bookcase.

"This way, Mr Potter," McGonagall gripped my arm and guided me over to a chair. I could hear faint pity in her voice and I scowled at the floor as I sat down, cursing myself for not remembering where everything was. "Poppy told me that you still had basic sight in your eyes, otherwise I would have helped you before you injured yourself."

"I did," I muttered. "I lost the last of it a few hours ago. I was going to go to the Hospital Wing once I'd talked to you."

"Very well," McGonagall paused. "I suppose you're here to speak about your classes."

"Yeah," I nodded. "My friends have offered to help me in class and they're going to show me the wand movements after. We've organized an after class study session."

"I assume you mean Messrs Black, Lupin and Pettigrew," she commented dryly.

"Severus and Lily too," I interrupted, knowing the only one of the Marauders that she'd trust to teach me the right thing would be Remus and even then she'd be doubtful.

"I suppose you'd get some work done with Miss Evans there," she said. "That's fine for when you're not in class, but what about when you are? What do you need help in there?"

"I can't write or read at the moment," I blushed, staring down at the floor again. "But Lily was reading something about brail to help me out."

"I was just about to suggest the same thing," McGonagall stated. She went on to give me the right spells and movements to change text into brail and back. She also gave me a spell to cast on my quill so that it would take notes automatically for me in brail, but they couldn't be changed into normal text so that no one could cheat by borrowing my notes. I was also given a dicta-quill to use for any homework or essays I'd need to do, it would only respond to my voice so I wouldn't end up with random conversations in my essays.

"What about practical lessons?" I asked nervously. "Herbology today was hopeless and I imagine Care of Magical Creatures will be the same."

"What about Divination?" McGonagall questioned. "How did that go?"

"Not too differently than normal," I admitted truthfully. I could practically sense her amusement at my answer. It was well known that McGonagall thought Divination was a useless subject, so I knew I wouldn't get into trouble from her for saying that being blind didn't change much as far as that subject was concerned.

"In that case," she continued. "I believe it would be best to continue with Divination since it's a little late to switch subjects now. However, it is your choice whether you continue with Care of Magical Creatures or choose another subject. As far as Herbology is concerned, I'll speak to Pomona and try to organize something to help you there."

"I'd like to continue Care of Magical Creatures," I decided. "We're meant to be studying Thestrals this year. The fact that I can't see might actually be an advantage."

We discussed other things for a little longer before I left to go visit the Hospital Wing. I was surprised that classes were still going on, it had felt like I'd been talking to my head of house a lot longer than I really had. I guessed that Potions would have finished, which meant that my friends would no doubt be worried about the fact that I wasn't in Gryffindor Tower.

I debated about whether or not I should go to the Hospital Wing or just go back to the Tower, but I'd already told McGonagall that I was going to get my eyes checked and she'd probably check with Madame Pomfrey. I figured that my friends would understand and hopefully not panic too much, it might even be good for them to see that I could go out on my own.

Unfortunately, I didn't even get to the Hospital Tower before I ran into trouble. I'd been aware that there were other people in the corridor with me, but I'd assumed that I didn't know them since they'd ignored me. It was only when I bumped into a wall that I realized whoever was there had surrounded me.

"Look what we have here, boys," a familiar hated voice sneered. I recognized the speaker as Wilkes, one of the members of Death Eater wannabes that Severus used to hang out with. If he was there then that normally meant that Mulciber, Avery and Rosier would be around too.

"Are you lost, _Potter_?" Avery asked.

Someone chuckled darkly to my left. "He must be to be here," Mulciber commented.

"I think you're the ones that are lost," I spat back. "Why don't you run back to your _Master_ like the good doggies you are."

I flinched as a stunner hit the shield charm that I'd put up while they were taunting me. A neat trick that I'd learnt from all of my duels with Severus; I'd been able to put up a soundless shield charm since Fifth Year. I'd never been more grateful for that ability; I might have sounded fearless but I knew that I was in a very bad situation.

"Three against one and you still missed," I faked a yawn. "Well done."

"That silly shield of yours won't block the spells we have in mind for you," Avery snarled.

I pretended to be unaffected by his words as I silently strengthened my shield and hoped that someone would come find me soon. "Because picking on a blind person shows that you are _oh so_ strong."

"He's right," a shaky voice spoke up. "What does it prove to hurt him?"

I stared in the direction the voice had come from, shocked. I hadn't expected Regulus to be there and even if I had I wouldn't have thought that Sirius's little brother would ever stand up for me or any of my friends. Regulus and Sirius had had a strained relationship ever since Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and Regulus into Slytherin, but when Regulus had begun to follow in his dark family's footsteps, they'd gone from ignoring each other to insults and even small fights.

It was one of the reasons that Sirius hated Severus so much. He felt like Severus had taken his little brother away from him and I'd always guessed that that was the reason Regulus seemed to hate me as much as he hated Sirius. I knew that Sirius still loved his brother, but Regulus was the one that had purposely begun turning against his brother and Sirius didn't know how to fix it.

"Shut up, Regulus," Wilkes commanded. "He deserves it."

"But he's defenceless," Regulus protested, his voice getting stronger. "What's the point in attacking him?"

"He's a Gryffindor," Mulciber stated as if it explained everything, in a similar way to how we'd justified bullying Severus all those years. "And he's on Dumbledore's side. Everyone knows that the Potters are against the Dark Lord."

"For good reason," I said immediately, getting an idea of how to get Regulus out of their group as I chose my words carefully. "Why would I want to attack _defenceless _Muggles? What does that prove? Everyone knows that they don't have any way to fight us, what's the point in hurting them? Is Voldemort really so weak that he has to prove he's superior over Muggles? Sounds like he's got issues to me."

I winced as my shield blocked two more hits from different directions. I'd known that my little speech would annoy and anger the others, but if it helped Sirius get his brother back I'd class it as a win. I got ready to drop my shield and attack since I knew that it wouldn't last much longer anyway and my opponents wouldn't want to waste time talking anymore.

"Hey!" Someone shouted, the sound of running footsteps came toward us. "Get away from him!"

I nearly laughed with the sheer irony as I felt Peter take a place in front of me, protecting me with his body from any shots that might be fired. How many times had I done the same thing for him? The fact that he was so willing to protect me warmed my heart and a small smile slipped out as my confidence grew.

It wasn't a secret that Peter had never been very good at duelling, which is why he was always targeted when Sirius, Remus or I weren't around, but he was still determined to help me fight off three of his previous tormentors. I dragged him so that I was stood back to back with him and fired of a stunner in the direction I knew Avery was in.

I heard a startled curse and someone jumping out of the way, causing me to smirk. I may not have been able to see, but I'd still nearly hit him anyway. Unexpectedly, I heard Regulus stun someone just as Peter tried to stun Avery.

"Traitor!" Wilkes cried, no doubt talking about Regulus.

I grunted as Avery managed to hit me with a cutting curse that barely missed my chest. Thankfully, it only hit my arm and didn't do too much damage; it just felt like a wound I could have gotten on a full moon with Moony. Briefly, the thought entered my mind that it was a good job I'd been on my way to the Hospital Wing anyway.

I fired off another stunner at the same time that Peter did, I don't know which of us hit him but either way Avery went down, which just left Regulus to deal with Wilkes. Once he was taken care off we all rested for a little bit, leaning against the wall and panted as we came down form adrenalin rushes.

"Come on," Regulus spoke up, tugging on my robe sleeve of my good arm. "I need to speak to Severus and he'll probably be looking for you."

"Prongs!" Peter protested when I began to follow him. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Not at all," I said as cheerfully as I could manage, which wasn't very considering how exhausted I felt. "But he did just help us out."

"You need to get your arm checked out," Peter pointed out, walking at my injured side and beginning to make bandages out of my robe since it was ripped anyway. Since running with a werewolf, we'd all learnt how to patch each other up and take care of injuries because it would be too dangerous to get them checked at the Hospital Wing.

"I've had worse," I shrugged my good shoulder while keeping my other one still so that Peter could wrap it up. I felt Regulus watching us curiously, but we didn't say anything to him and he kept quiet as well, only his grip on my sleeve reminded me he was there.

"This is the path to the dungeons," Peter said suddenly. "We can't go to the Slytherin house; we'd be attacked before we even got to the door."

"Like I'd take you there," Regulus snorted, his hold slackening as he turned a corner and then released me completely. I hoped Peter knew where we were because I'd not paid enough attention while walking. As if sensing my thoughts, Peter quickly told me that we were in an empty classroom and then led me over to a chair, not commenting on the fact that as far as he knew I shouldn't have needed help finding a chair.

"I'll go get Severus," Regulus told us. "Stay there." He walked away before we could say anything.

"I don't think we should be here," Peter announced nervously. "Remus and Sirius will be worried and I don't trust Regulus…or Snape."

"I know, Wormtail," I soothed. "But he did just help us out, so we owe him this much. If we get into trouble then you can say 'I told you so'."

"I'll hold you to that," Peter warned, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Thanks for the help before," I said suddenly. "I told you that you belong in Gryffindor."

"I only did what you've done for me thousands of times," he responded, but I could tell he was pleased by my comments. "It was no biggie."

**A/N: I don't like the ending of this chapter. Tell me what you think. Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry! I know this is a day late but yesterday was so hectic! Anyway, it's here now. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 12**

Severus's POV

I'd never been more thankful for the end of a day before. I went straight to my dorm once classes were finished and dumped my bag onto my bed, leaving immediately afterwards. The last thing I expected was for Regulus Black to come into the Common Room as I was preparing to leave and stop me before I could get away.

"Severus," Regulus greeted quietly and respectfully. "I need to talk to you."

I kept my face expressionless but knew he could see my displeasure reflected in my eyes. Conversation between Slytherins was often more body language than actual speaking and Pure-Blood training crept in a lot. Regulus had to treat me respectfully because I was a year above him, even if my own year mates didn't respect me anymore.

"I'm busy," I dismissed him, my eyes wandering to the door that was behind him; a clear message to say that he was in my way. I felt sure that James was in trouble and I just wanted to leave to try and find him.

Regulus shifted awkwardly on the spot, his training saying he should move and his stubbornness demanding that he stay. "It's important," he insisted, his eyes reflected the desperation he was no doubt feeling.

I raised an eyebrow at him and nodded quickly. Regulus gave a silent sigh of relief and moved out of my way, following me as I exited the Common Room. Truthfully, I wasn't sure where to start looking for the hard-headed Gryffindor, so I stopped to let Regulus speak before continuing any further.

"I've brought Pettigrew and Potter to speak to you," he announced once it was clear I was waiting for him to say something. "Mulciber, Wilkes and Avery had cornered Potter and Pettigrew came rushing in to help them."

"Explain," I commanded urgently, my gut twisting as I fought to keep all emotion hidden.

Regulus twitched at the intense note in my voice and looked at the floor as he quickly recounted everything that had happened. I was surprised to hear that he'd turned against the others and helped the two Gryffindors out, but it explained why he'd brought them to me. Once word got out that Regulus was a traitor, I'd be the only one he could rely on to help him since I was already thought of as betraying Slytherin house.

"Take me to where they are," I sighed once he'd done. "They'll no doubt need patching up. Reckless Gryffindors."

We reached the old classroom fairly quickly and found Pettigrew and James sat down on chairs near the entrance. Pettigrew had his wand held out in front of him, pointed at the door, while James was twirling his carelessly between his fingers.

"Put your wand down, Pettigrew, before you take someone's eye out," I snapped as I entered, causing him to squeak and drop his wand in surprise.

"Severus," James nodded in my direction. "Charming as ever I see."

"No you don't," I smirked, causing him to chuckle darkly. "Regulus here has told me you got into some trouble."

"I think we handled it okay," James shrugged. "Need to work on my aim though."

"Was that a hint?" I raised an eyebrow at him, knowing he couldn't see it. Peter and Regulus were staring at the two of us like we'd gone insane, but if it meant they weren't fighting each other I didn't care.

James laughed happily, lounging back in his chair, but I noticed he avoided putting any pressure on his left shoulder. "I'm not that subtle."

"We'll have to find the time for a lesson then," I told him. James frowned in confusion for a second before nodded in understanding; I didn't make a habit of pointing out the obvious so it had thrown him when I'd resaid what we'd already talked about before. I could see that he understood my reason though when his head tilted slightly towards where Regulus was standing.

It would be good for Regulus to know that we were doing private lessons because as the Slytherins began to turn on him, he would need somewhere to go where he didn't have to hide. I was hoping that by planting hints about what we were up to in his mind, he would come to me asking permission to join later.

"For now though," I continued after a small pause. "I think both of you need to get to the Hospital Wing, and since you can't seem to go anywhere without getting into trouble, we'll have to take you there."

Peter scowled at me for inviting myself and Regulus along, but James just snickered and stood up, waiting for Peter before taking hold of his sleeve and letting him guide them. Regulus looked slightly confused about the fact that I'd said he would go too, but followed my lead without complaint.

We made it as far as the Hospital Tower before running into any trouble. Black and Lupin were stood arguing with Rosier in the corridor in front of us. Lupin noticed us first and nudged Black to get his attention, they both walked over to us, ignoring Rosier. Black stared at his little brother but made no move to speak to him.

"Well if it isn't the two traitors and the blind boy," Rosier sauntered up to us with a sneer on his face. Black looked at Regulus with wide eyes; he was clearly shocked that Regulus was classed as a traitor by his own house but I didn't take the time to explain it, I knew James or Pettigrew would tell him later.

"Where's your back-up, Rosier?" I questioned calmly, a small smirk gracing my lips. "They wouldn't happen to be the reason you're visiting the Hospital Wing, would they?"

Rosier glared at me before shifting his eyes to look at James, who was looking just to the right of Rosier but near enough that if he fired a spell it would still hit. "Did it hurt when that potion hit you?" He sneered, making it clear that he wasn't asking because he was concerned. "You know it wasn't meant for you, if you hadn't been such an idiot and got in the way you would have been fine," he smiled viciously at us as his meaning began to sink in. "Then again, I still managed to damage a Blood Traitor, and the fact that the Mud-Blood got injured too is a bonus."

"You bastard," Black's voice shook with rage as he practically vibrated on the spot. Regulus was holding his arms in an attempt to stop him leaping forward and attacking. Pettigrew was holding back Lupin who looked just as bad, it was clear that Pettigrew wanted nothing more than to let Lupin go, but he held on.

Rosier laughed sadistically. "You would have been cheering my name if everything had gone to plan," he paused to glare at James who seemed to have frozen. "If you hadn't got in the way I'd have managed to get rid of Snape and your little Mud-Blood."

That was my limit. I didn't care that he'd planned to kill me, but the fact that he was talking about Lily's death like it was such a good thing angered me beyond anything. All of my guilt about being the cause of the accident had been misplaced and it quickly changed into anger.

Before anyone could react, I'd hit him with the full body bind curse. "You inbred, twisted, monster," I had to use all of my will-power not to keep cursing him. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't keep firing at you."

"Let Dumbledore deal with him," James suddenly spoke up, sounding quiet and defeated. "Don't sink to his level."

I lowered my wand and took hold of James's robe sleeve, practically dragging him towards the Hospital Wing. Everything in me demanded that I go back and make sure Rosier would never bother us again, but I kept walking.

Admittedly, I did give me a great sense of satisfaction to see each of the Marauders give the paralysed body a powerful kick as they went by. Regulus, however, was more practical and cast the curse again, not wanting it to run out. I saw him briefly talk to one of the surrounding portraits before he caught us up again and assumed that he had sent for a teacher.

"Severus," he called out, halting us before we could enter Madame Pomfrey's domain. "I'm going to wait with Rosier for Dumbledore to arrive. Someone needs to make sure he's stays there and explain what happened."

I nodded jerkily, anger still rushing through my veins. "I'll see you later; try to stay in your dorm if you go back."

Regulus sent me a strained smile before turning to face his brother. They regarded each other silently for a few seconds before Regulus left. I didn't know what had passed between them, but Black seemed to be in a better mood as we pushed the Hospital Wing door open.

**A/N: I hate this chapter. The only bit I actually like is the beginning and I'm not really sure about that. I hope you liked it anyway. Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 13**

James's POV

The clean smell of the Hospital Wing burnt my nose as we stepped through the doors. I kept close to Severus as we walked through the room; I didn't know how many people were there and didn't want to bump into anyone.

"Mr Potter!" Madame Pomfrey's voice reached me along with the sound of footsteps coming over to us. "What have you done this time?"

"It wasn't his fault!" Peter protested. "Avery, Wilkes and Mulciber ambushed him in the corridor."

"Yes," Pomfrey hummed with disapproval. "I've already treated those three and you can guarantee that Professor Slughorn will be having words with them when they wake up."

"Rosier might be joining them soon," Remus informed her. "We ran into him outside, but Regulus is with him at the moment while he's waiting for Dumbledore."

Madame Pomfrey huffed in exasperation. "Honestly! Since you boys joined Hogwarts I haven't had a peaceful moment!"

"It's not our fault," Sirius told her with his 'I'm-so-innocent' voice. "Trouble just seems to find us."

"I'm sure," Pomfrey agreed doubtfully. "Minerva told me that you were coming to see me, Mr Potter. I was getting worried when you didn't turn up."

"Sorry Madame Pomfrey," I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly before sending a smile in Sirius's direction. "Trouble found me before I got here."

"I assume you wanted a check up on your eyes?" She asked. Severus led me over to one of the beds and I could hear the others settling themselves down around me. "And I'll sort your arm out too." She healed up the cut on my arm and checked the others over to make sure they weren't injured as well.

"I lost the final bit of my sight," I blurted out as she cast spells over my face.

"What?!" Sirius chocked. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"I didn't want you hovering around me all the time," I muttered, keeping my head facing down. "I knew you wouldn't leave me alone if you knew."

"For good reason!" Sirius exclaimed. "Look what happened!"

"Mr Black," Pomfrey spoke up sternly. "If you can't keep your voice down then I will make you leave."

"He'll be quiet," Remus said quickly, no doubt shooting his prefect-look at him. "He's just concerned."

The Hospital Wing doors opened again before anyone could say anything else. Madame Pomfrey went to meet whoever it was while a pair of footsteps came in my direction. I could hear Pomfrey talking quietly to someone and then recognized Dumbledore's voice.

"James!" Lily cried, letting me know who had come in. "I was with Dumbledore when a portrait told him what happened. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Lily," I assured her quickly. "And at least now we know who was responsible for the explosion."

"I can't believe someone would do that on purpose," Lily sounded sick at the thought of it. "I was so worried when I heard that you were in the Hospital Wing after having two fights in one day!"

"I only got a small scratch on my arm," I told her truthfully. "Even blind I'm no match for them."

"And there's that Potter ego I remember," Severus said dryly. "I was wondering where it had gone."

I shot a smirk at where I thought he was but Pomfrey returned before I could reply. "You're right, Mr Potter. I'm sorry to say that you are now completely blind," she sighed sadly. "Other than that though you're fine and are free to go."

"Thank Merlin!" I exclaimed, climbing off of the bed with a grin. "I've seen more than enough of this place."

I began to walk towards the doors without any help. I'd been in the Hospital Wing so many times over my years in Hogwarts that I knew it as well as my dorm room. In fact, I probably knew it better than my dorm room since there were always random items on the floor in the dorm. The others followed me after a moment's hesitation. Thankfully, none of them tried to lead me, though I knew that there was a person at either side of me in case I needed any help.

"You're completely blind now?" Lily repeated quietly. "When did that happen?"

"This morning," Severus answered from somewhere to my right. "Apparently he didn't feel the need to tell anyone of this latest development."

"Let's go to the Room of Requirement," I interrupted, unwilling to listen to them discuss how irresponsible I was. "Maybe we can start that training."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Remus questioned hesitantly. I smiled as I realized that he was on my immediate right and wondered who was on my left, I guessed it was Sirius.

Proving me right, Sirius spoke up from my left as he took hold of my sleeve and pulled me slightly to the side before letting go again. I guessed that he'd directed me away from another suit of armour. "Haven't you had enough 'training' today?"

"Those two fights just prove that I need to know how to defend myself," I argued stubbornly. "When better to train if not when I can remember what it feels like to be in a duel while blind."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Lily spoke up. "You need to rest and recover."

"You heard Pomfrey," I responded. "I'm perfectly fine."

"No you're not!" She shouted. "You're blind! You need time to come to terms with that all over again now that you've lost all of your sight. You might not feel it now, but soon the fact that you can't see anything is going to hit you."

"In case you've forgotten," I said through my gritted teeth. "I lost my sight fully hours ago. I've mourned the loss and I'm ready to move on now."

"I'm just trying to help, James," she murmured, moving so that she was stood in front of me and held my wrists in her small hands. "I'm sorry about what happened to you."

I basked in her comfort for a few milliseconds before my frustration lashed out. "I don't need your apologies!" I pulled my arms away from her and glared at where I knew she was. "And I certainly don't need your pity so why don't you just leave me alone?!"

A strangled gasp escaped from her as we stood in silence and then I heard the noise of footsteps racing away. Instinctively, I knew that it was Lily that had run away and my heart twisted guiltily at the thought.

Lily and I had always had an explosive relationship; she'd hated me from the first time we'd met and I'd returned the feeling until Third year when I realized that I was in love with her. Since then we'd argued more than ever before; she'd been forever throwing insults and hexes at me while I had just continued trying to show her how much I cared.

Admittedly, I'd given as good as I got when she'd insulted me in the past, but I tended to just accept her anger and pretend she'd never said anything. Since the accident that had taken my sight, it was like our roles had reversed; I was trying to push her away while she just wanted to help me.

The problem with that was that I'd taken her role as the one with the explosive temper, but she hadn't taken mine as the calm one. Instead, what we'd been left with were two people who couldn't stop lashing out at each other even though neither of us meant any of it anymore.

"Well done," Severus congratulated me sarcastically. "You've just managed to upset the one person you've been trying to win over for over six years."

"I didn't mean it," I groaned, scrubbing my hands over my eyes. "She just seems to bring out the worst in me lately."

"You don't need to tell me that," Severus patted my back and gave me a push forward. "Go tell her, and for Merlin's sake don't shout at her."

"He can't go after her on his own," Sirius protested.

"The people who would have targeted him are either unconscious in the Hospital Wing or detained in Dumbledore's office," Severus responded calmly. "His only problem will be finding her without falling down the steps."

"Wormtail," I reached out to try and find him, smiling when he stepped forward and took hold of my sleeve. "Come with me to find Lily. You can read the map and help me walk around, as long as you leave once we've found her."

"M-me?" Peter stammered in surprise. "Of course I'll go with you, Prongs."

I purposely stepped on Sirius's foot before he could protest about whether Peter was fit for the job. I trusted him to get me to Lily safely and after the day I'd had I knew he would have my back in a fight if it came to that. Plus, I knew that it made him feel important to be chosen and in my opinion he could do with the occasional confidence boost.

"Do you want us to come too?" Remus asked while Sirius passed me the Marauders Map. I could feel Severus's questioning gaze on the map but I just smiled secretively at him. I would tell him about it later since I didn't have time, but I knew it wouldn't hurt to let him be curious for a while.

"I think it would be better if I spoke to Lily alone," I said nervously. "And I'm sure Wormtail can get me there on his own just fine."

I felt Peter stand a little taller and hid my smile as we began to walk in the direction Lily had gone. I handed the map to Peter and heard him activate it once we were out of sight of the others. My stomach churned anxiously at the thought of talking to Lily after all I'd said to her again. I could only hope she'd forgive me yet again and I promised to myself that if she did I'd never do this to her again.

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Please review! :)**

**WARNING: I may not be able to update every week anymore until September. I will update whenever I can, though it will still always be on a Thursday if I do update. If I can't update during the summer you can be sure that I will continue this in September. This story is NOT abandoned!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14**

Severus's POV

"Well," I said, turning to face Black and Lupin who were watching me curiously. "I suppose I should go then. James probably won't want to do any training today." They kept silent as I began to walk away.

"Wait!" Lupin shouted before I could go too far. "Prongs will be upset if you don't go to the Room of Requirement for training."

I raised an eyebrow at him but followed them as they led the way to the room we'd decided to train in. I was doubtful that James would have time for any training, if he even remembered that he'd mentioned it. He was probably much more concerned about Lily.

My heart clenched as I thought about Lily. I'd been in love with her for so long that it was hard to try and let go of those emotions. Logically, I knew Lily had never seen me as more than a friend and never would, but that didn't help the ache I felt when I thought about how I'd sent another guy after her in hopes that he would win her over.

Any chance that I'd been holding onto faded into the realm of impossible, Lily was better off with James. He loved her as much as I did, maybe more, and he was the best choice. One of the words that came to mind when I thought of Lily was 'pure', her soul was whole and light. James was the same; they matched on a deeper level that I'd never have been able to connect with.

The mistakes I'd made in my life, the magic that had lured me in and caused me to fall deeper into the shadows, meant that I was tainted. It wasn't anything visible, but Dark Magic left its mark on anyone that used it, no matter what their reason for using it was, and my reason wasn't good enough to counteract it.

"Why did you help Prongs?" Black finally asked once we'd reached the Room of Requirement and sat down on the chairs provided. I didn't recognize the room, but I guessed by the colours that it was a likeness of the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Truthfully?" I inquired, sighing when he nodded. "I thought the accident was my fault and I felt guilty. But the longer I spent with him the more I realized that he was an okay guy."

"You convinced him to go after Lily," Lupin commented cautiously, as if nervous about what he was saying. "That can't have been easy for you."

I stiffened in my seat; there was a pitying knowledge in his eyes and I knew without a doubt that he knew just how much I cared about Lily. "They're a good match," I stated truthfully, refusing to say anything else on the matter.

"James seems more at ease with you nowadays than he does with us," Sirius told me sadly; his eyes reflected his confusion and a deeper emotion that I couldn't recognize.

"I don't treat him like he's any different," I said carefully. "I think it's easier for me to act like nothing's changed because I didn't know him before, not really."

"Thank you," Lupin sighed. "For helping when we couldn't."

I hid my surprise at the comment, but I'm sure they saw a flash of it in my eyes. "I didn't do it for you." It was a truthful statement; I hadn't even considered the other Marauders when I'd made the decision to try help James.

"We know," Lupin soothed while Black stayed silent. "But you did it anyway and it can't have been easy to be nice to someone who hated you."

"Look," Black spoke up, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "What we're trying to say is that we're sorry for how we treated you and that if you and James are going to be friends then we should at least try to get on as well."

I didn't bother to smother my snort or hide my amusement. "That was very tactful, Black, but I suppose I should apologize as well for my past behaviour. I agree that we should at least be civil with each other for James's sake."

"Well that was very touching," Lupin commented dryly. "But I guess it's a start."

"A start to what?" James asked, stepping through the door with Lily and Pettigrew following him. I nodded at him and gave them both a small smile once Pettigrew had gone to sit by Lupin.

"Sirius and Snape have agreed to try and get on," Lupin grinned. Lily snorted and sat down in one of the chairs that had appeared when they'd entered the room.

"Does this mean he's an unofficial Marauder?" James joked, laughing at the look on Black's face at the thought.

"I thought this was meant to be a training session," I said, changing the subject. The thought of being a part of their group was a strange one; I admit that I thought it would have been nice, one of the reasons I hung around with Avery was because they had made me feel like one of them and it had been nice to feel accepted.

"McGonagall was pleased to hear that you and Lily would be helping me too," James commented. "I think she was worried Sirius, Remus and Peter wouldn't be much help."

"She knows us too well," Pettigrew laughed. Black pretended to be outraged at the accusation before Lupin hit him over the head.

"What lessons do you need to work on with us?" Lily questioned, ignoring the Marauder's antics. "Other than duelling."

"Well, McGonagall said she'd talk to Sprout about help in class and that I can continue Divination and Care of Magical Creatures," James sighed. "I'll need help in Charms, DADA and Transfiguration. I have a special quill to help in lessons and for essays, but you'll need to teach me the practical side."

"Okay," Lupin nodded, he had a piece of parchment balanced on his knee while using a book for support as he wrote down the things they'd need to train him in. "Anything else?"

"I think Astronomy is a lost cause," James chuckled. "Hard to point the telescope in the right place when you can't see what's sky and what's ceiling."

Lily gave an unwilling giggle, no doubt imagining James pointing his telescope at the ceiling and insisting he was looking at Mars or something like that. James looked pleased to hear her laugh; it seemed that whatever they'd talked about had done a lot to help them become friends and they both looked more comfortable around each other.

"What do you want to start with?" Pettigrew asked curiously, leaning over Lupin's shoulder to see the list.

"Duelling," James said immediately.

"I'll help you to duel," I offered. "We could all choose a subject to help him in, that way none of us will be trying to teach too much."

"I can teach Charms," Lily suggested. "If we all teach our best subject it will be easier to teach."

"That means I'm helping in Potions," Black chuckled. "That will be fun."

"Duelling is basically the same as DADA," Pettigrew stated, shifting nervously. "But I can help with the creature side of it and other bits. I'm not any good at Transfiguration, or much really, so it's best if I do a subject that someone else is helping with too."

"You're a lot better than you think you are, Wormtail," Lupin reassured him. "But I'll teach Transfiguration if it makes you feel better."

"Glad that's decided," James clapped his hands, an anxious grin on his face. "Shall we get started?"

"Let's start with aim," I decided after a pause. "There's nothing wrong with your duelling skills, your only problem is your sight."

"Great plan," James muttered, his hand going white as he tightened his hold on his wand. "How do we do that?"

"You need to learn to rely on your ears and your instincts," I commanded. "If you can hear it then you know where it is. We need to train your ears to hear more and learn how to listen for what you want to hear."

"Still not answered how we do that," James pointed out, causing the others to smile. They all looked interested in what I was saying and I knew they were planning how they would teach him the subjects they'd agreed to help with.

"Lily?" I waited until she looked at me before continuing. "Do you still have that Muggle CD player that you got Professor Flitwick to charm so that it works here?"

"Yeah," she blinked in confusion. "I also learnt the charm in case I ever needed any other Muggle item to work."

"Great," I smiled at her. "Can you bring it to the next training session?" She nodded curiously so I turned back to James. "Next time, I'm going to play some music really loud and you're going to have to try and hear what your friends are saying in the background. Once you can do that, you'll have to try and hit them with a spell. We'll take it slowly, if you succeed with hitting them, we can move onto moving targets, silent targets, and so on."

"I like this plan," James murmured, looking reassured that I actually had a plan and sounded like I knew what I was doing.

"Good," I said, amused. "For today, why don't you just try to hit one of us with a colour charm, preferably one that doesn't last very long, while we stay still and talk? If we have time you can attempt to hit us as we walk around."

By the time we had to leave for the evening meal, most of us had spots of colours decorating our robes. I was pleased by how well James had done; he'd taken my advice and trusted his instincts. We got a few funny looks when we sat down at our tables, but everyone was too used to the Marauders to actually take too much notice of a few coloured marks.

Lily and Lupin said they were going to organize a time-table so that James would have time for all the extra study sessions and that they'd give me a copy once it was done. I'd given them a list of all my free time so that they could match it up and add it to the schedule.

James, Black and Pettigrew were disappointed about the time-table since it would eat into their pranking time, but they knew how important it was and that it would help their pranks in the long run.

**A/N: Hope you liked this. Please review! :)**


	15. Outtake: Lily and James

**A/N: This is for **_**the-kermit-kid **_**who wanted to read the conversation between Lily and James.**

**Outtake: Lily and James**

James's POV

My stomach twisted anxiously as Peter led me along, he was using the map as a guide to find Lily but there was a part of me that didn't want to find her. It was the same part that just wanted to run away and hide rather than face the chance of being rejected. I squashed that part down and repeatedly told myself that I was a Gryffindor; I had to be brave.

Peter stopped suddenly and let go of my sleeve. "She's in here and she's alone. It's an empty classroom," he explained, nudging me towards the door when I didn't move. "I'll wait here so you can talk to her alone. Good luck."

Knowing that it was too late to turn back, I gathered my fleeing courage and pushed the door open, listening as Peter shut it behind me. I could hear the sound of someone moving around and the sniffles that came from crying. I felt guilt well up inside me as I thought of the fact I'd made Lily cry.

"James?" She sniffed, she sounded confused and sad. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize," I said softly, unwilling to say anything that might cause another argument. "I was a total git before and you didn't deserve any of it."

"No, I didn't," Lily sounded firmer this time and I could hear an undercurrent of anger in her voice. "How many times are we going to have to do this, James? How many times will we have to apologize just to do something else that upsets the other?"

"This is the last time," I promised. "I'm so so sorry, Lily. I never wanted to hurt you and I know that you were completely right about everything you said. You only wanted to help but I kept pushing you away, please don't say I've pushed you too far."

"I'm tired of arguing with you, James," she sighed, sounding much older than she was. "We've always been like a firework and a flame, why did we believe that could ever change?"

"We don't have to argue anymore," I pleaded, my heart breaking. I knew then that if she told me she didn't want to have any part in my life then it wouldn't be a life worth living. I'd already lost so much, I couldn't bear to lose her too; I would respect her wishes and never speak to her again, but it would break me. "Fireworks are explosive in the beginning, but don't you remember how beautiful they are afterwards?"

"I thought that too," she murmured. For a second I thought she might have been smiling at me and I longed to be able to see her face to find out. "But I'm sick off waiting for the after, no matter how wonderful it might be."

"You don't have to wait," I vowed. "If you forgive me then I won't ever put you in this position again." I meant every word that I said; she was completely right when she said that it was too difficult to argue all the time, especially when all I wanted to do was hold her tight and tell her how much she meant to me.

I took a step forward, desperate to at least take hold of her hands, even if I could hold her or look into her eyes like I wanted to. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten about where we were and by stepping forwards I promptly walked into a chair and fell over, the chair landing a few inches away from my head.

"James!" Lily exclaimed, followed by the sound of footsteps. She helped me off the ground while I chuckled at what a sight I must have made. "It's not funny! You could have been hurt."

"I've learnt to look on the funny side of life, Lily," I told her, smiling as I kept hold of her hands. "Have you ever heard the saying 'sometimes you do have to laugh to keep from crying'? I think they're very wise words to live by."

"You don't always have to laugh," she muttered. "It's alright to cry sometimes too."

"I know," I smiled. "And I do cry, but once I've finished with the sad stuff I prefer to move on and try to be happy. One of the reasons I snapped at you is that you wouldn't let me move on when I felt like it was pointless to linger over things that didn't make you smile."

"I didn't know you felt like that," she commented. "Maybe I was the one that needed time to mourn. I thought I was trying to look out for you, but perhaps I was actually doing it for myself. I thought that if I could help you through it then maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty."

"You don't have anything to be guilty for," I declared, squeezing her hands. "It wasn't your fault; it was Rosier that caused the whole thing."

"But you got hurt because you were protecting me," she protested.

I hardened my gaze, trying to portray just how serious I was. "And I'd do it again, damn the consequences."

"You make it so hard to remain angry at you," Lily stated, leaning forward so that her head was resting on my shoulder. Hesitantly, I let go of her hands and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. "Do you really think we'll ever stop arguing?"

"No," I answered truthfully. "But I think we can stop hurting each other with our arguments. Maybe we'll even benefit from having them sometimes."

"I hope so," she chuckled. "But for now let's try not arguing as often."

"Deal," I laughed, hugging her tightly before letting her go. "Shall we go see the others for training?"

"I think that's a great idea," she said before hesitating. "Next time do you think you could come to me when you're upset?"

I paused for a second; my pride warring with the fact that I knew it would be nice to have comfort when I was at my lowest. "Okay," I finally decided. "I'll do my best."

"Thank you," she murmured, I knew that she'd be giving me her brightest grin. "Let's go find the others then."

**A/N: Hope you liked this, please review! :) **


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: I've changed the names of James's parents in Chapter 5. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15**

James's POV

"I can't believe you two convinced me to spend even more time with you," Severus grumbled as the Hogwarts Express continued its journey back to Kings Cross Station.

"Stop complaining," Sirius said. I knew he was in his normal position of lounging against the window next to me because I could feel his shoe against my leg. "You know that spending Christmas alone at Hogwarts would have been much worse than spending it with us."

"I beg to differ," Severus argued, but his tone was joking and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's a shame we can't meet up this time," Peter sighed. He was going on a holiday to Spain with his parents so he wouldn't be able to come to my house. Remus was also going to be spending time with his family and Lily had told us all about the skiing trip she had planned for the break.

"Because we don't see each other enough at school," Lily snorted. "It's just a shame Petunia and her boyfriend will be coming with me this time."

"She's not still with that guy is she?" Severus asked, leaving the rest of us confused as to who they were talking about.

"She is," Lily complained. "Though technically he's her fiancé now."

"Who's this you're talking about?" Remus questioned, voicing the question that we were all thinking.

"Vernon," Severus answered. "Lily's sister's fiancé."

"The pompous bigot," Lily mumbled. "He's perfect for her really, but I don't see why I have to deal with them. Even dad agrees that they annoy him!"

"Christmas is for family," I reminded her, smiling at the fact that she was insulting someone other than me for once. "Unfortunately, that means dealing with the relatives you'd rather forget about."

"Not for me," Sirius disagreed, sounding overjoyed at the thought. "I never have to deal with my family again."

"What are we?" Remus demanded, putting on a mock hurt tone. "Chopped liver?"

"I meant my blood family," Sirius reassured us. "Not my real family."

"I'm pretty sure that if you looked far enough back then you'd be related to Severus, Remus and Peter," I offered. "And you already know that we're fourth cousins."

"Thank Merlin that I'm a Muggle-Born," Lily laughed. "I don't have to know my whole family tree to make sure that I don't marry a cousin or something."

"Not that that's unacceptable in Pure-Blood society," Peter piped up. "Pure-Bloods have been known to marry their cousins if there's no other Pure-Blood's available."

"That's so gross," Lily commented, shifting in her seat. "Let's talk about something else, shall we?"

"Are you sure your parents won't mind me staying with you?" Severus asked me, a hidden note of nervousness in his voice. "Shouldn't you have asked them first?"

"They won't mind," I told him confidently, waving my hand at the others in the compartment. "This lot just turn up at any time. Even I don't know when they're coming."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said happily. "Uncle Charlus and Aunt Dorea are awesome. They didn't even bat an eyelid when I moved in."

"That doesn't say much about their sanity," Lily giggled. "Then again, if you four are there a lot I guess they must be used to strangeness by now."

"Are you insulting me Miss Evans?" Sirius demanded. I could picture him in my mind with a hand on his chest as if he'd been mortally wounded by her words. "Cause I'll have you know that the Marauders take all insults very seriously."

"There's a difference between insult and fact, Padfoot," Remus laughed. There was a muffled thump that I guessed was Sirius trying to swat at Remus's head; a pointless attempt since Remus's reflexes were far too fast for any of us to hit him.

Soon enough, the train pulled into the station and we began to make our way onto the platform with our trunks. Peter and Remus found their families immediately and called out their farewells as they were dragged away.

Lily let out a disgruntled noise when she spotted who was waiting for her. "Of course Petunia would come too," she muttered. "Anything to annoy me."

"Have a good Christmas," I grinned her way once Severus and Sirius had said their goodbye's to the redhead. "You could always prank her if she gets on your nerves…or at least threaten that you will."

"Thanks James," she snorted before grabbing hold of my shoulders and kissing me on my cheek. "Have a nice Christmas."

She was gone before I could react to her actions. I turned around to where I knew Severus and Sirius were standing. I was sure that the gobsmacked look was still on my face as I opened and closed my mouth without saying anything and reached a hand up to touch my cheek.

"I didn't imagine that, right?" I finally said. "Lily just kissed me on the cheek?"

"She did," Sirius sounded as shocked as I was. "It's a Christmas miracle!"

"I said that you had a chance with her," Severus told me. I could hear traces of amusement in his voice, but underneath that was sadness and I had to push down the pity I felt for him, knowing that he wouldn't appreciate it.

"Jamesy!" I heard a female voice shout. Sighing at the nickname that Sirius often teased me with, I spun around in the direction the shout had come from just as I was crushed into a hug. "My boy! How are you?"

"I'm fine, mum," I mumbled into her robes. "At least I will be when I can breathe again." I could hear Sirius snickering at my misfortune as my mum finally let me go.

"I missed you," she defended her actions, no doubt seeing my red face. I nodded though I knew full well that the reason for the hug was the accident; she'd never hugged me like that just because she hadn't seen me for a while before.

"This is Severus," I introduced, stepping back to Sirius's side and waved to where Severus had been. "Can he stay with us over Christmas?"

"I'm sorry to intrude on your holiday," Severus apologized sincerely, causing me to roll my eyes. "James assured me that you wouldn't mind but I can find somewhere else to stay if not."

"Of course you can stay," my dad spoke up. "At least you have manners. Most of James's friends just enter the house whenever they want. I didn't even know Sirius had moved in until a week after he'd arrived."

"I knew you wouldn't mind," Sirius shrugged, taking hold of my wrist as he led me to the fireplace that we normally used to Floo home. "You said the first time I visited to treat it like my own home."

"I think you're the only one who would take that literally," Severus chuckled. "No one else would accept that as an invitation to move in."

"Their loss," Sirius laughed, stopping and tightening his hold on me before letting go completely. "Here's the Floo powder, Prongs."

"Thanks," I took a handful and moved forwards until I could feel the grate under my shoes. "Potter Manor!"

The feeling of Floo travel was even worse than usual since I couldn't see what was going on. When I finally tumbled out of the fireplace I had to be steadied by my dad. Sirius and my mum came through afterwards and she immediately cast cleaning charms on all of us. Severus had gone before me so he was already waiting once mum deemed us fit to enter the living area of the Manor.

"Leave your bags," I told Severus, letting Sirius grab my wrist. "Thumble, our House-Elf, will take them to the rooms."

Sirius led the way to my room and made sure I was safely on the bed before letting go of my wrist and closing my bedroom door. Severus had followed us in and I head the tell-tale squeak of someone sitting down on my office chair.

"My room is the one across the hall," Sirius commented to Severus. "You'll be staying in the room to the right of this one since no one has claimed that one. Remus normally stays in the room to the left of mine and Peter to the left of James's."

**A/N: I'd planned to add more to this chapter, but I think it fits better in the next chapter so this one is a bit short. Please review! :)**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 16**

Severus's POV

After the first day at Potter Manor, the holiday began to get increasingly worse. It wasn't that I wasn't made welcome, Mr and Mrs Potter went out of their way to make sure I felt at home and insisted that I call them Aunt Dorea and Uncle Charlus.

The problem was that after the evening meal on our first day out of Hogwarts James began to distance himself from his parents. I could see his reasons for doing so; they were doing their best to come to terms with the fact that their son was blind, but while trying to help him all they were succeeding in doing was smothering him, especially his mum.

His parents were hurt that their son was actively avoiding them and it created an awkward tension in the air that no one knew what to do about. I could see that James was upset at the new distance between him and his family too, but every time he tried to talk to them it ended with him hiding from their overwhelming attention.

He told me that it was different to how his friends had annoyed him in the beginning; with them he could shout and yell at them until the message sunk in that he wasn't made of glass. His parents had always been protective of him because he was their only son and he'd never had a problem with them before. I could tell that they were getting more worried the longer James avoided them and it meant that when he finally did try and talk to them again, their concern was too much for him to handle.

Sirius was just as lost as I was when it came to helping out. We both tried our hardest at staying out of it, knowing that our friend would be angry if we interfered, but it was hard watching him suffer and being unable to do anything. Instead, we spent our time cheering him up after we'd found his latest hiding place.

Since the Manor was so big, Sirius and I had split up to try and find him. I had a feeling Sirius would find him first because he knew the house better and therefore knew all of the best spots where a teenage boy would hide.

I was grumbling under my breath about how this holiday was turning into a long game of hide and seek where I was always 'it', when I literally bumped into Mrs Potter. After steadying ourselves we stood in awkward silence for a few seconds before I offered her a weak smile and began to edge away.

"I don't suppose you know why my son is hiding from me, do you?" She asked, a sad note in her voice that stopped me from making my escape.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether I should answer or not before I finally decided to just reply and hope I didn't make things any worse. "Don't take it personally," I muttered, wincing at my choice of words since it was actually a personal reason that James was avoiding her. "He stayed away from his friends at first too. It's how I became friends with him."

"I meant to ask James how that happened," she sounded wistful. "We used to be so close and now it seems like he can't stand to be in the same room with me."

"He was trying to get away from the others," I told her clumsily, unsure as to whether or not I should be telling her the story that she'd have preferred to hear from James. "He found me by accident in the library and started talking to me. He explained how his friends were treating him differently, like he was made of glass and needed their help with everything. He felt comfortable with me because I didn't act any differently around him. We hadn't been friends before the accident, in fact we'd pretty much hated each other, which is probably why James knew I wouldn't treat him delicately. I could see that he just needed someone to pretend nothing had changed while still accepting that not everything was the same."

When Mrs Potter looked confused by my words I gave an internal sigh and continued my explanation. "I helped him when it looked like he needed it, but otherwise left him alone," I searched my mind for an example. "I always let him try to do things by himself before interfering if it looked like he was going to get hurt. For example, when he's walking around school he'll sometimes take hold of someone's elbow, but if he doesn't reach out then we leave him to try walking on his own. Sure he sometimes bumps into a few walls, but not badly enough to get hurt and, as he once said, he needs to be able to do everything on his own in case we're not there one day."

"I think I understand," she gave me a sad smile. "I guess I'd forgotten that behind the disability was still my stubborn brave hearted boy. I'll go find Charlus and have a word with him. If you find James, can you tell him to come find us, please?"

"Of course," I smiled back at her, hoping that the rift between James and his parents might soon be healed. She thanked me before leaving me to continue what I'd been doing.

Knowing for sure that Sirius would have found James by then, I made my way to the bedrooms. We normally brought James back to his room when we found him, telling him that we'd hide him from his parents if they happened to enter that part of the Manor. Sure enough, James was sat on his desk chair while Sirius lounged on the bed when I pushed the bedroom door open.

"Your mum wants to speak to you," I murmured when James looked up in the direction of the door with a smile. His smile dropped at my words, but he nodded before getting up and leaving the room.

I groaned, flopping onto the chair James had just left and spun it around a little, wondering the whole time how James had gotten hold of a Muggle desk chair. Sirius raised an eyebrow at me and kicked out a foot to stop the chair from spinning, causing me to wobble slightly.

"I've just had a long talk with Mrs Potter," I admitted to him.

"Aunt Dorea," he corrected me automatically. He'd been doing that ever since I'd been told to call them Aunt and Uncle like the Marauders did. "Is that why she wanted to speak to Prongs?"

"Yeah," I said. "She wanted to know why he was avoiding her so I told her how we'd become friends. Though I left out the part about helping him learn how to duel, something told me she'd be against the idea."

Sirius snorted. "She was against that idea before anything happened to him. She'd be horrified to hear that he was learning how to fight without his sight."

"Shouldn't she be pleased he knows how to defend himself?" I questioned curiously.

"Uncle Charlus will be," he acknowledged. "But Aunt Dorea doesn't think any of us should have to fight at all, especially not her baby Jamesy."

"Any news on what's happened to Rosier?" I changed the subject, not really wanting to start talking about the depressive subject of the on-going war.

Sirius scowled at the ceiling before shifting so that he was facing me. "Dumbledore's trying to get him expelled since the minister refuses to arrest him on attempted murder on the grounds that he's only just reached adulthood. In other words, his father and his cronies are donating their weight in gold to keep him out of Azkaban."

"He must get expelled!" I exclaimed at the injustice of it all. "Surely not even bribes can keep that from happening."

"You'd think so," Sirius sighed. "But I wouldn't be surprised if he just got suspended."

We sat in angry silence for a few minutes before I got an idea. I was sure that it was caused by the Marauders bad influence on me, but I couldn't deny that it was a good idea.

"If he does come back to Hogwarts," I said out loud. "We'll just have to make it so he doesn't want to be there. I'm positive none of the teachers would step in if we were persuading him to leave."

A wicked grin made it onto Sirius's face as he thought over my words. "I'll owl Moony and Wormtail; if we can't think of some horrid ideas for revenge then we don't deserve to be Marauders."

"I'll contact Lily," I added. "She'll probably know some painful curses and I dare say that I know a few of them myself."

"We'll have to inform Prongs of the plan when he gets back," he cackled, sounding a little less than sane. For a second I saw the Black side of him that revelled in insanity but then he looked at me and I could easily read his reasons for what we were planning, and that was what made him so different to his family. "Rosier is going to regret ever messing with us."

**A/N: Almost didn't update this chapter because I forgot what day it was. Hope you liked it, please review! :)**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**Chapter 17**

James's POV

It was nice to finally be back on the Hogwarts Express. When I'd spoken to my parents, they'd apologized for smothering me and admitted that they didn't know what to do. I had no doubts that it was thanks to Severus that we had the conversation at all, but from there we managed to work something out.

Even though they tried very hard to give me the freedom I needed, I was glad that the holidays were over. My friends knew how to help me without overwhelming me and I felt comfortable with them. I knew that if I was with my parents as often as I was with my friends then they'd become just as reliable, but my friends had always been my closest family.

"How was your holidays then?" I asked everyone, lounging back against my seat. Severus, Sirius and I had spent Christmas in my room, plotting different ideas for revenge against Rosier and reading through the letters that the others had sent with their input.

"Hot," Peter muttered; Remus had told me that he was sunburnt and kept moving his robes in an attempt to get comfortable. No one was surprised that he'd gotten burnt, it happened every time his family forced him to a hotter country. "It was nice though."

"Skiing was good," Lily told us, describing what skiing consisted of for those of us raised in the Wizarding World. "Mum nearly broke her leg though halfway through the week."

"You managed to deal with your sister and her fiancé then?" Sirius questioned, a teasing note in his voice.

"Petunia fell in a snow drift on day one," Lily sounded a bit too pleased about what had happened. "She stayed at the house for the rest of the holiday and Vernon stayed with her. We just had to put up with her complaining on a night and I usually stayed in my room."

"She fell in a snow drift," I repeated, raising an eyebrow doubtfully. "Did she have a little help falling?"

"Maybe a little," she admitted sheepishly.

We laughed at her, priding ourselves on successfully turning her into an honorary Marauder. She protested, but the fact that she couldn't stop giggling herself proved that she didn't mind that much. Eventually, once we'd calmed down, Remus told us about his Christmas and we all pulled out the sweets and chocolates that we'd gotten as gifts.

It was a Marauder tradition to buy each other things to eat for Christmas, which we then shared on the train back to Hogwarts. For birthdays, we went out and bought nice gifts, but Christmas we pooled our food onto one pile and shared everything. We'd explained all of that to Severus and Lily so that they didn't go out looking for gifts and they added their sweets to the pile.

For the remainder of the journey, the others played exploding snap while calling out different ideas for revenge that I wrote down on a piece of parchment. The ideas were a bit darker than our usual pranks, but we weren't doing them to make people laugh, it was vengeance, Marauder style.

By the time we'd arrived at Hogwarts, we had a decent plan for how we were going to go about getting revenge. It wasn't going to be a short thing that lasted a day; we were going to keep pranking Rosier to the extreme until we achieved our goal of driving him out of the school. The first part was planned for during the feast and the others had learnt the spells they needed.

I was disappointed that I wasn't going to get to see any of the pranks we did, but Severus had promised to try find a way of showing me his memories of the moment. His reasoning was that if he could put his memories in a Pensieve then why couldn't he put them into someone's head? He was planning on doing a lot of research about it with the help of Remus and Lily, but I was sure that if it wasn't possible then they'd still find a way of doing it.

"Ready?" Remus whispered. I heard the rustling of robes around me and knew that everyone was pulling out their wands. Severus was sat at the Gryffindor table, he had started sitting there before the holidays and no one had argued against him being there…mostly because no one wanted to disagree with the Marauders.

I heard them all cast their spells. There was a pause as all conversation stopped, before the whole of the Great Hall erupted into laughter. I imagined what was happening with Lily's help; she told me what it looked like between her giggles. Her laughter alone made me smile, but the thought of the prank cheered me up immensely.

We'd gone for the embarrassment route for the first part of the revenge. As planned, Rosier was strung up by ropes around his ankles, dangling from the rafters. He was coloured pink, purple and had red polka dot spots all over him. I could hear him cursing over the lingering traces of laughter and was very pleased to hear that he sounded like he'd been breathing Helium.

"Professor!" Avery shouted. "Aren't you going to do something?"

"About what?" McGonagall asked, a hard note in her voice.

"Rosier is on the ceiling!" Wilkes exclaimed angrily.

"What is he doing there?" She demanded. "Horace you really have to keep better control of your students."

"Indeed Minerva," Slughorn agreed. "Twenty points from Slytherin."

"But Professor!" Mulciber protested. "It was Potter and his friends that did it!"

"Fifteen points to Gryffindor for excellent charm work," Flitwick piped up, causing a new wave of laughter.

"I believe we should all trot off to bed now," Dumbledore announced. There was the sound of students leaving the tables and standing up. "And Mr Avery, if you are really so against Mr Rosier staying in the rafters tonight, I suggest that you get him down."

By the time we'd all made it back to the Gryffindor Tower, we were breathless with laughter. Severus had left us earlier to go to his dorm; he mentioned that he would be putting up curses and charms around his bed so that he wouldn't be hexed in his sleep. Lily said goodnight and gave me a hug before running up the stairs to her room.

"How long are those spells going to last?" Peter wondered, the sound of springs squeaking alerted me to the fact that he'd jumped onto a bed.

I followed his example and climbed onto the nearest bed, I bumped into someone when I sat back. Instead of choosing a different bed, I pushed whoever it was onto the floor with a grin and then made myself comfortable. The muffled swearing told me I'd knocked Remus onto the floor and a few seconds later there was another thump as he knocked Sirius onto the floor.

"Severus was right," Sirius sighed once he'd claimed Peter's bed. "The teachers didn't tell us off for anything."

"They encouraged us," Remus added happily. "I hope they don't mention what we're planning on doing either."

"Our plans are a bit…darker for him now though," Sirius cautioned. "I doubt even McGonagall will help us out like she did tonight."

"She doesn't have to help us," I spoke up, lying down so that my head was on the pillow. "She just had to turn a blind eye. Pun intended."

**A/N: I hate this chapter…it is my worst chapter yet, I'm sure. I didn't think about how hard it would be to write the prank from James's POV. Anyway, hope you liked it more than I did, please review! :)**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: I've finally finished the plan for this story! It's going to be 36 chapters long – including the epilogue and outtakes. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 18**

Severus's POV

I walked into the Slytherin Common Room slowly, unsure as to what was going on. There was the sound of muffled swearing and grunts of pain, but everything else was deadly quiet. In the middle of the room, Rosier was stumbling around and bumping into things, he kept rubbing at him eyes in frustration.

"He can't see," Regulus whispered to me in a hoarse voice. He sounded afraid and awed at the same time. It didn't take a genius to guess that it was the work of the Marauders, and though the other Snakes were against people cursing their house, no one could deny that he deserved it. He had attacked another Pure-Blood, whether intentionally or not. One of the other reasons for the silence was that whatever had caused his blindness must have been a powerful curse, and it was a good guess that the magic was fairly dark.

Even Rosier's gang – now out of the Hospital Wing – refused to help him. They didn't want to risk turning the Marauders wrath onto them; they thought themselves as lucky for getting off as easily as they did. When the Marauders hadn't immediately gotten revenge, people had assumed that they weren't as dangerous as they'd thought. Everyone knew that they liked to play pranks, and that some of the pranks could be a bit cruel, but the Snakes had guessed that they weren't willing to step up their game for revenge.

They had thought that the prank of stringing Rosier up on the ceiling while he was dyed a different colour was all that they were going to do. Since then, the Marauders had earned more and more respect from the Slytherin house as they proved they weren't afraid to damage their 'Light side' persona if it meant avenging one of their own.

They may have started with simple pranks, but it certainly didn't stay that way. Rosier was still a nice lilac colour and his voice higher than usual, but if that wasn't enough then it was a known fact that the Marauders had done something to him that made him hallucinate for two days. After that he started hearing things and not realizing when he was speaking or not.

Lily and I had been offering our advice on ways to get revenge, some of which were added to their plans, but the Marauders mainly did their own thing. I could tell that Lily disapproved with some of their methods, but I was willing to help them and even she couldn't say that she was actually against what was happening.

The teachers couldn't ignore everything that was going on, but if they couldn't find an excuse, then they were given light detentions that were barely a punishment. I knew that they would be in trouble again for taking away Rosier's sight; even if it was only temporary. I was proud to admit that I'd helped them sneak the potion that would do the job for them into his drink.

"Come on," I muttered to Regulus once I'd tired of watching Rosier fall over chairs and tables. I told him to wait for me outside, which he did without complaint, while I strode forwards and picked up Rosier by the back of his robes. Ignoring his protests, I shoved him out of the Common Room; it would be more fun to watch him stumble around the castle and I was sure that the Marauders would want to see their handy work.

"I need your help," Regulus announced once Rosier had left.

I examined his face, noting the mixture of fear and determination in his eyes, before nodding and gesturing at him to follow me. We ducked into an empty classroom, taking seats on the tops of two tables across from each other and ignoring the chairs that were scattered around.

"What do you want?" I asked, refusing to agree to anything until I knew what he needed help with.

"I don't want to be a Death Eater!" He blurted out. His pale skin gained a bit of colour as he blushed lightly. His throat worked as he swallowed and looked at me in the eye. "I can't be a Death Eater." He stated more calmly, his hands gripping the sides of the desk that he was sat on.

"Why come to me about this?" I questioned lightly, pretending that I didn't know the significance of what he'd told me. As if I didn't know that the decision could change his whole life.

"You're not a Death Eater," he gulped, his eyes flickering down to my bare left forearm and back to my face. "And everyone knows that you won't join the Dark Lord."

"I'm not the only one you know who refuses to join him," I reminded him. "In fact, you have a brother who's doing just that. And I do believe that he's closer to Dumbledore: leader of the Light, than I am."

Regulus grimaced. "I don't want to join the Dark Lord. That doesn't mean I will join Dumbledore's pack of loyal mutts."

I sent him a wry smile. "Then you walk on the Grey side. Full of those who refuse to choose Light or Dark. I can see why you would choose me and not your brother, but I also think that he will be the best one to help you out with this…problem."

"I don't need his help," he muttered rebelliously.

"But you do need mine," I snapped back, causing him to stare at me with wide surprised eyes. "And whether you want it or not your brother has already helped you more than you know. Why do you think the other Snakes leave you alone? Even after you defied Rosier in an act that cast you as a traitor. The only reason you're not in a living hell right now is because no one wants to give Sirius a reason to punish them after seeing what's happening to Rosier."

"I-I didn't know," he stuttered, clearly caught off guard by my rant. There was no other reason that he would show him emotions so easily.

"Sirius may have been disowned from your family, but he is still a Black by blood," I told him in a kinder voice, reminding myself that he was still rather young and that he'd been pampered for a long time, causing him to seem much younger. "The Blacks' are a powerful family, and Sirius – as the first born son – commands respect as much as his father did before him, he just choses a different way to do it. People respect him for that; they may call him a Blood-Traitor and sneer at his face, but behind closed doors even they admit that he is still a Black. Especially now, you can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at Rosier; a sort of insanity that's just waiting to be released."

"He was always more powerful than me," Regulus admitted. "Braver too, he stood up for what he wanted and didn't care about the consequences."

"Which is why you need to talk to him," I said softly. "He can help you stay out of the Dark Lord's clutches much better than I can."

"Ok," he nodded hesitantly. "I'll try speaking to him."

"Good," I smiled briskly and then began to walk, knowing that he'd follow me. Sure enough, there was the sound of footsteps behind me as I led the way to Gryffindor tower.

"I didn't mean now!" Regulus protested when he saw where we'd gone.

"Tough," I reached up and knocked on the door, thinking idly that the Marauders might have been a bad influence on me and finding that I didn't really care.

Remus answered the door with a tired smile that turned to confusion when he saw Regulus. I explained quickly that he needed to talk to Sirius and a few seconds later Sirius joined his friend at the doorway. Regulus and Sirius left to go somewhere private to have a conversation and Remus let me enter the tower.

"Prongs is studying with Lily in the library," Remus explained when he saw me glance around the room. "And Wormtail's upstairs copying Sirius's Potions essay."

I stared at him critically for a bit until he squirmed uncomfortably. He looked paler than usual and more fragile. I'd seen him in a worse condition, but I realized straight away that his state meant that the full moon was approaching. He'd no doubt get a lot worse as the days progressed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, staring him in the eye in a way that dared him to try lying to me.

"Sore," he admitted with a sigh. "But nothing I can't handle."

We sat in silence; both of us lost in our thoughts. When I next turned to look at my companion, I found him curled into a ball on the couch; asleep. I waited until Peter came downstairs and sat with his friend before leaving; I didn't know the rules of the Gryffindor Common Room, but I thought it was best that Remus had someone to protect him while he slept, just in case. As I was walking back to the dungeons, I wondered just when I'd begun thinking of the Marauders by their first names…when did I begin thinking of them as friends?

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Please review! :)**


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'm dedicating this chapter to '**_**Paige**_**'; my guest reviewer who needs to login so that I can answer her comment. Thank you for reminding me of things I'd forgotten and giving me new ideas. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 19**

James's POV

Sirius was over the moon that his brother had talked to him. He was even happier about the fact that Regulus had admitted to not wanting to be a Death Eater. That put the poor Slytherin in a difficult position in his House (both at Hogwarts and in his family), so we'd all agreed to keep an eye on him. We were all pleased for Sirius that he'd managed to reconcile with his little brother and it was amusing to hear Padfoot repeatedly tell us that he was on better terms with the younger Black.

To solve the problem of their family, Sirius had decided to buy a house where he and his brother could live until Regulus was old enough to live on his own – something that he assured us he would do since he had no desire to live with Sirius permanently. Padfoot had also told us that he was going to make sure there were enough rooms for the Marauders if we wanted to stay too.

I'd offered my Manor as a shelter for Regulus since Sirius was already living there anyway and the other Marauders came over so often that the House-Elves had begun calling them 'Master'. Padfoot had thanked me but insisted that he wanted to be the responsible brother for once. He also added later that he'd been thinking of moving out before Regulus had talked to him and so had already looked around a few places.

"I can't believe I'm going to miss Quidditch," I groaned, glaring in the direction of my breakfast. "I'm Quidditch Captain for Merlin's sake!"

There was a thoughtful silence before Severus spoke up. "Shouldn't they have done something about that?" He asked hesitantly. "I mean, I know they've found a new Gryffindor Keeper, but don't they need a captain too?"

"Yeah," I nodded gloomily; placing my fork down on what I hoped was the table and not someone's plate. "McGonagall says that I'll have to give up my captaincy once she finds another candidate for the job."

"I'm sorry James," Lily apologized from her place at my right. She gave my hand a quick squeeze and then let go; the contact only lasted a second but I missed it once it was gone. "I know that that must be tough for you."

"I don't care about not being Quidditch Captain," I assured her, only half-truthfully. Honestly, I'd been proud to be Gryffindors Captain and it was upsetting that I had to give it up, but I knew logically that it was for a good reason and the team needed someone who could fly helping them.

McGonagall had promised me that I wasn't going to lose my position as Head Boy, for which I was grateful. I hated that I'd lost what used to be one of my main escapes from my problems. I used to just grab my broom and fly; everything that was wrong in the world seemed to just get blown away in the wind when I was up in the air.

"Are you coming to the game later?" Peter asked timidly. Peter had been a real help since I'd lost my sight; he never babied me, but he sometimes took my books so that I had a hand free to find my way around.

"Not this time," I answered, shoving down my shudder at the thought. Noisy crowds had become a nightmare for me It wasn't that my other senses had gotten better – that was just a myth – but because I was more used to relying on them, I was too hyperaware when stuck amongst a lot of people and it tended to make my head hurt.

"We could stay with you if you want," Remus said quickly.

"No need," I smiled in his general direction. "Severus has organized the training so that I've got a lesson with him during the match."

"Are you sure?" Sirius questioned, he sounded a bit disbelieving. I was actually telling them the truth; I didn't want them missing the game for me. It wasn't as if I was going to be spending the time on my own and moping around the Tower. Severus wouldn't give me any time to think about anything but training; it was the perfect distraction.

"Positive," I chuckled. "Gryffindor's going to need its star Beater and at least one Marauder should be on the team."

"I promised Alice I would go," Lily sighed. I might have been imagining it, but I thought I could detect a note of regret in her voice. "We don't get to spend as much time with each other as we used to."

Our discussion was interrupted by a nervous First Year Slytherin stepping up to the Teachers table. "Professor Slughorn, Sir, someone's cursed Rosier."

"Again?" Slughorn looked at the First Year, a hint of amusement in his face. "He doesn't seem to have any luck recently. I can't do anything unless he tells me himself, Mr Greengrass."

"He can't speak, Sir," the boy admitted, ignoring the snickering coming from the other tables. "He's gone mute."

"Then it looks as though I can't do anything doesn't it?" Slughorn dismissed, going back to his breakfast and turning to speak to McGonagall as though nothing had happened. The first year looked helplessly at the other teachers before going back to sit down at his table.

"Mute," Lily repeated, a curious mix of amusement and disapproval in her voice. "Didn't he go blind the other week too?"

"I do believe I heard that somewhere," Sirius said airily. "Poor Rosier seems to be having a string of bad luck…I'm sure it will only get worse."

"I think the expression is meant to be 'it can only get better'," Remus corrected tiredly.

"I like my version better," Sirius argued. "It suits the circumstance much more than yours."

"Of course it does," Lily mused. I felt her stand up and pick up her bag. "I'm going to see if I can find Alice before the game starts."

I took a mouthful of my pumpkin juice and waved briefly as she left, hoping I hadn't waved in the wrong direction. No one was laughing, so I guessed I didn't do too badly. Thanks to the training my friends were giving me, I was getting better at judging where things were. As a result of that, my confidence in my other senses was getting higher and I was learning to rely even more on my instincts.

Madame Pomfrey had insisted I go to the Hospital Wing to get a check-up, and while there she'd gone through my other options with me. There was a potion that I could take that would heighten my hearing enough to give me a sort of echolocation ability, but I was warned that since my hearing would be heightened then ordinary noises would be painful and I would only be able to use it for so many days before I'd need to give my body a rest.

The other option I was given was to get implant eyes. I was told about Auror Moody who had lost one of his eyes in a battle and had replaced it with a magical one that could see through invisibility cloaks and other enchantments. It would mean that I'd have to get my eyes removed though and the thought made me feel a little ill to be honest.

The only choice that remained was to continue as I was and learn to live with my blindness. The idea of magical eyes did have a certain appeal – even if they were electric blue judging by the pictures – but Madame Pomfrey wasn't sure that they would work for me. The damage done by the acid wasn't to my eyes – otherwise I wouldn't have eyes left since the acid would have burnt them away – it was to the parts behind my eyes that were needed for sight.

I only considered the echolocation idea for a second before dismissing it. I already had a problem with crowds; I wasn't willing to advance that any more than necessary. I was also against the thought of removing my eyes just to find out that the implants wouldn't work. In the end, that just left me with the option of learning to live as part of the blind population; an idea that I knew I would eventually accept.

"Where is Snape anyway?" Peter asked, distracting me from my thoughts.

"With Regulus. He's going to meet me in the Room of Requirement later," I replied. Realizing I was still holding my cup of pumpkin juice, I placed it on the table and then swore when I felt it tip over, spilling onto the seat next to me and splashing my robes with the sticky liquid.

"Not to worry," Peter said cheerfully, probably pleased that I hadn't spilt it on his this time. "We've got time to go to the dorms before the match."

Grumbling, I followed the others out of the Hall. While I was glad that I was getting better at being blind, it made my mess-ups even more annoying. I'd slowly had to learn how to do simple things again; walking and eating included. It made me annoyed and frustrated that the things I learnt to do as a child and had taken for granted were so much harder.

The Marauders were a big help in both cases. They let me clutch their arms so that I knew I wasn't going to run into a wall, or follow the sound of their footsteps if I was feeling confident and the corridors were quiet. At mealtimes, one of them would tell me what was available and then where it was. They watched as I served myself; only stepping in when I'd grabbed the wrong thing or missed my plate.

I couldn't believe that eating had actually relied so much on sight; it had been a struggle the first few meals to locate my own mouth! Eventually, I got better at that, but I still made stupid mistakes like putting my cutlery down where it shouldn't be or placing my cup down too close to the edge of the table. Once I'd even put my cup down on Remus's plate…right in the middle of his mash potatoes.

After a quick change of robes, the other Marauders left to go get seats in the stands and I made my way down to the training room. It was slow going, but I was fine as long as I stuck close to the walls. Some of the paintings even gave me advice and told me which direction I was headed in; something I was grateful for.

We'd moved onto moving targets while listening to loud Muggle music. Severus insisted that he couldn't teach me to duel until he was positive that my aim was perfect. At the rate that he drilled the exercises into my head, I was beginning to think that I'd be a better dueller blind than when I had my sight.

My help in the other lessons was going well too. Sprout was having to teach me the plants by touch in the Greenhouses, but it wasn't effective for all of them since some of them could hurt me. She wasn't expecting me to do brilliantly in the class, but she was sure I would get a pass which was more than I'd hoped for.

Lily turned out to be an efficient teacher and was extremely helpful when it came to teaching me the charms we were learning. She often had to direct my arm and hand through the movements so that I knew what to do. The proximity to her didn't make things easier for me; it was like some sort of romance film where the guy teaches the girl how to play golf. Only my life was reality, which meant I wasn't learning things for fun and Lily was only helping me because she was my friend, nothing more.

Potions with Sirius was interesting. I'd been okay at Potions before losing my sight, but the incident had made me a little jumpy around the possibly volatile liquids. Sirius somehow managed to keep me calm until my unease was gone completely. I learnt how to cut things and judge their sizes with my hands and how to measure things that needed to be a certain weight. He even found a spell that read out what colour the potion had turned. I dreaded to think how long he'd spent in the Library trying to help me, but he admitted that Lily and Remus had helped the research.

Peter was a lot better than he thought he was. Normally, at the beginning of the training session, Peter would nervously start to teach me, stuttering in places and losing his track of thought. However, once he began to talk, his confidence grew and he was able to teach me things in ways that I wouldn't have thought of. For example, he animated drawings of the creatures he was teaching me about so that I could feel for myself how big they were and what they felt like.

Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was impressed by how much I seemed to understand, something I thanked Peter for, much to his astonished disbelief. He was also helping me with the creatures we were learning in DADA and the results were much the same, even if Peter doubted himself.

We did indeed begin covering Thestrals and I was pleased to note that it was a class where I had an advantage. There were a few students in the class that could actually see the skeleton horses; the war being the main cause. I was saddened to hear that the number of students who could see Thestrals was going up the longer the war lasted, but it wasn't a surprise.

Remus was clearly meant to be a teacher. Even if Transfiguration wouldn't have been his first choice – he 'd once told us that he wanted to be a DADA professor but knew it was impossible with his condition – he was still perfect for the job. He kept calm and talked me through any problems I had, helping me though them by using examples I could understand and working to stop me getting annoyed by my failures.

With the help of my friends, it felt like I could get a hold on what had happened to me. It was no longer the end of everything. It may mean that the life I knew was gone, but the training allowed me to control the circumstances and my new life. I could have given up and gone home like my parents had wanted, but I chose to stay and keep fighting. I would not end up as another victim of the war.

**A/N: Hopefully, updates shall be every Thursday now, like they were before summer. Please review! :)**


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